Some days are like that

[cjsmith]

Happy Hour in the office today is nachos and beer. In terms of progress, my day so far has pretty much been like yesterday, and things aren't exactly speeding up while I listen to everybody else party. Did I mention that the music is loud?

I realize I have really turned into a whiner lately. I do not like being a whiner. There must be things I can do to improve this situation. So far, I can think of three dramatic changes I might be able to make, any one of which would help in the short term:
1) Get off this diet
2) Get off this project
3) Find a job at a less food-oriented company, or at least one that isn't militantly carbohydrate-only

Maybe other things would help too. It is now my job to think of them.

But damn, it sure would be nice to be like everybody else once in a while. I took years to accept the fact that I would never again be fully able-bodied. I thought I was done with this "suck it up, everyone around you can enjoy things you will never enjoy again, get used to it and learn to shut up" kind of mental adjustment crap. Now I have the relentless tyranny of food in addition to being a gimp.

Some days just suck.

And now I need to think of ways I could make life suck less.

Comments

[inflectionpoint.livejournal.com]

Ya know...

I see that you are writing about food issues and what you can and can't do. And about how it is a real PITA. Pain in the... you know, not the flour kind.

But, here's what I -like- about your posts. You are writing about where you are, what you are trying, and what works and doesn't work. You're making more progress and doing more work on Food than most people I know do in years. I know some people who wouldn't do this much in a lifetime, but would rather sit and whine about how terrible it is, without doing anything about it at all.

You are working on this, you are figuring things out, and honestly... you're handling this incredibly well. Hell, I'm a tough bitch myself, but when I was doing South Beach, the first week, I woulda mugged a kindergartener for their lunch just to get an orange. People got tired of listening to me talk about how... I just want one orange, dammit. Just one.

You are doing this downright gracefully. It is educational to me to watch.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Wow, thank you. I feel like a bumbling klutz about it all. If I had already been a good cook before this started, or if I had been a trained nutritionist, or something, then *poof* it would be quite a bit easier. But I'm learning stuff like, oh, how to chop onions, from scratch. There is a LOT to learn!

The cravings can be really bad, especially when cutting out 80% of your diet in one swell foop. I think mainly I'm past most of that, though. What I want is the ability to eat socially, convenience and ease, and something -- anything -- that tastes appealing. I can probably get there, except maybe the convenience and ease, but I'm not there yet.