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I'm beginning to lose patience with a certain category of people. Oh, I'm not proactively rude, but I no longer accept some pronouncements unquestioned.
"I can't swallow pills," someone said to me once. Well, I carefully didn't say, you better not live to be much older. (NB: This person had no dramatic anatomical weirdness. She could swallow food and drink.) Seriously, who lives to middle age without learning to cope with swallowing pills? Heck, who gets to COLLEGE age and hasn't learned to cope with that one? I felt like she was bragging that she was still five years old inside, and a spoiled five at that.
I remember a recent comment in a friend's journal about not dealing well with needles. I can relate. I used to faint -- no kidding here, FAINT -- at the sight of needles in use. I now inject myself daily. I don't LIKE it, don't get me wrong, but I DO it. There are certain special-snowflake attributes that I simply no longer have the luxury of keeping.
"Restrictive diets don't work for me," said a coworker of mine at lunch today, referring to what I don't eat on the Lyme/antibiotic/yeast-control diet. And this time, I spoke up.
"They don't?" I said. Like you're so special, I didn't say, that if you got this disease you would somehow be above managing it. "What if you knew that eating ice cream would make you pretty sick?" I asked instead. "What if you knew it would land you in the hospital, what then? Where's the line?"
He readily rephrased, saying he has no strong motivation to lose weight; I agreed that I could totally understand that, and we rambled off on side topics.
I think I'm beginning to see that in some cases, "special snowflake" translates to "I've been very lucky in certain ways and I take it for granted." I don't have nearly as much patience with that as I once had.
Bad me, for having little patience? Maybe, but y'know, I'm not at all sure of that.
"I can't swallow pills," someone said to me once. Well, I carefully didn't say, you better not live to be much older. (NB: This person had no dramatic anatomical weirdness. She could swallow food and drink.) Seriously, who lives to middle age without learning to cope with swallowing pills? Heck, who gets to COLLEGE age and hasn't learned to cope with that one? I felt like she was bragging that she was still five years old inside, and a spoiled five at that.
I remember a recent comment in a friend's journal about not dealing well with needles. I can relate. I used to faint -- no kidding here, FAINT -- at the sight of needles in use. I now inject myself daily. I don't LIKE it, don't get me wrong, but I DO it. There are certain special-snowflake attributes that I simply no longer have the luxury of keeping.
"Restrictive diets don't work for me," said a coworker of mine at lunch today, referring to what I don't eat on the Lyme/antibiotic/yeast-control diet. And this time, I spoke up.
"They don't?" I said. Like you're so special, I didn't say, that if you got this disease you would somehow be above managing it. "What if you knew that eating ice cream would make you pretty sick?" I asked instead. "What if you knew it would land you in the hospital, what then? Where's the line?"
He readily rephrased, saying he has no strong motivation to lose weight; I agreed that I could totally understand that, and we rambled off on side topics.
I think I'm beginning to see that in some cases, "special snowflake" translates to "I've been very lucky in certain ways and I take it for granted." I don't have nearly as much patience with that as I once had.
Bad me, for having little patience? Maybe, but y'know, I'm not at all sure of that.
no subject
Exactly! We all have tradeoffs, some of them quite difficult to face. I get curmudgeonly when I see someone who, by intonation or eyeroll or repeated behavior, gives me some indication that they haven't been presented with a difficult choice that was quite painful for me when I faced it.
...ah, took me a minute to put my finger on the rest of it: and if I feel like they're dismissing my pain thereby. Yeah, that gets my dander up.
no subject
the SPECIAL implication is what's offensive -- like, um, the implication that YOU are more sensitive so YOU wouldn't do [whatever] -- which kinda implies that I just don't MIND needles and restricted food choices etc.
Although it can be hard to know what someone really means -- I know I sometimes say things that *could* sound like "special snowflake" when I mean I WOULD NOT CHOOSE THAT, because I think it is wretched, and I've thought about the options. On good days I'll add that I haven't faced the choice and would look into it further, and might surprise myself. But the point is that I think it is wretched GIVEN THE OPTIONS AVAILABLE. Given my (special) view of the choices, not given my (special) sensitivity. So, it is specialness, but a different sort.... or something like that.
And, let me add, the fact that other people have NOT faced the hardships and difficulties that I have (or you have, etc) is in itself plenty of reason to feel curmudgeonly, IMO. Like when I worked with a department full of very young engineers who had never faced, say, being laid off, not having skills that are in demand, doing work that is demeaning, etc. There is some kind of respect that you should earn by the hardship of years of dealing with your situation. Not sure how I'd define it, but this is a good project to work on! We can make up some rules and certifications and things....
no subject
You've hit on one of the things about special snowflake behavior that brings me to honest to goodness rage - of course it's o.k. for YOU to do icky thing z. But I can't do it because I'm more sensitive, you just don't MIND doing it, right?
Argh. No, I do mind. I really mind. But it's the choice in front of me.
I get really tired of that particular special snowflake behavior, especially since the way I got less "sensitive" was by Dealing With It. I have little tolerance left for these people, because my being less sensitive magically means I do more work, take more responsibility, get tireder, and have less time and energy for what I want to do. And they... are sensitive, so in addition to doing the shitwork for them, I should also be all sympathetic and understanding about how "sensitive" they are. And I can't expect much back up and understanding for doing this work, because I'm "strong," and therefore don't need any.
I'm still very upset about it, and it comes from several years of being in some very messed up and co dependent relationships. I might mellow over time, I hope I do. But right now, I'm still furious at this nonsense. I'm also sad because this special snowflake refusal to do things... ties people even more deeply into co depenedance. Ugh.