You may ask yourself, "How did this get here?"

[cjsmith]

I just cleared out the fridge. It was appalling.

I'm one of those people whose refrigerators are ruled by guilt. I throw a party and carefully store the remaining third of a bottle of ranch dressing that didn't fit on the veggies plate, because pitching it would be wasteful. I take a failed cooking experiment and put it into Tupperware anyway, guilting myself into believing I will someday be hungry enough to eat it.

Then I open the fridge and see all this stuff I don't want to eat. Reminder! My Cooking Sucks! Reminder! Eat This Before It Develops A New Civilization! Gee, that's appetizing. Maybe it's time for a run to the grocery store, to get something I do want to eat? But the fridge is full...

Gone now. All gone.

At that, it isn't even a complete sweep. We still own soft drinks, which is ludicrous given that neither of us has touched that sort of stuff in years. We still own six distinct and separate jars of mustard. But anything we would neither eat nor give to someone else is history.

I'm surprised at how good it feels to look in there now.

Comments

[ladyqkat.livejournal.com]

I am not looking forward to cleaning up the chocolate syrup that got knocked over with the cap slightly open and then somehow turned upside down at the back of the shelf and oozed down the wall to under the crisper. And tossing out almost empty bottles of stuff that are well past their "use before xxx 2005" date.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Oh man, I wouldn't be looking forward to that either! Yikes!

My record for this sweep was 2001. Granted, that was dry aged cheese, but still.

[apparentparadox]

We had the remainder of a six-pack of beer in our fridge for about 4 years -- a remnant from when my brother-in-law was visiting. I know how you feel!

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I think my mother is the only human being in the world who drinks Diet Pepsi. (Er, wait. Is Corey a diet Pepsi or diet Coke drinker?) Anyway, every time she's over we get a bunch of that stuff, and there's always a can or three left afterward.

And then there's the Sam Adams from the last party...

Yeah. *nod* That.

[apparentparadox]

I think that Corey & Carla are both Coke people (diet by preference).

[nosrednayduj]

So, have Rob bring all your soda to one of Jane's dances. Getting rid of soda is easy if you have a big enough crowd. Please don't bring the beer, though :-)

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Square dancers will eat ANYTHING! ;-)

(That's handy for baking. I like to bake, but I don't like to eat an entire pie or batch of brownies myself!)

[aelfie.livejournal.com]

"Chocolate pudding? Does anyone want this last chocolate pudding? I have just one chocolate pudding left. It's only pulled away from the side of the dish about three inches all the way around. And there's a huge fault running through the center of the pudding. Actually, it's nothing but a ball of skin at this point. Does anyone want a ball of fault ridden chocolate pudding skin? I'm only going to throw it away."

Next best line
"Here, Bob. Eat this before I give it to an animal.


For the whole text

http://www.themadmusicarchive.com/song_details.aspx?SongID=295

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I LOVE that one!

When you first put them away, you feel really intelligent- "I'm saving food!" And then, after a month, when hair is growing out of them and you throw them away you feel...really intelligent- "I'm saving my life!"

[psi-star-psi.livejournal.com]

Ah, you got to it before I could. This was exactly the line echoing in my head while I read your post.

[bigjohnsf.livejournal.com]

bigredpaul and I have been planning on making a time to think about cleaning out the refrigerator for about four months.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's one of those tasks that wouldn't get done at any other time than a three-day weekend, that's for sure.

[apparentparadox]

Just wait until you move!

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Augh! Noooooooooooooooooooooo!

[lisa-marli.livejournal.com]

We have an old comic in the kitchen where the kid, looking in the fridge, asks "Hey Mom! Ya know that casserole you made last week?..." As the tendrils come out and snatch the kid "I'm not sure buy I think it might be.." Kid is gone "Rotten!"
It totally describes our fridge. XD
The commercial on TV where the couple sniff the Chinese food and collapse on the floor is pretty good too.
And Yes, I cleaned out the fridge BEFORE the party I had this weekend. Good thing too.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Every so often I wonder where all my plastic containers are. That's a bad sign. :)

[billeyler.livejournal.com]

We have a fridge cleaning fairy that comes by from time to time and tidies up. I think it's abqdan, but I can never catch him in the act.

I'm still amazed by the amount of condiments that accumulate over time!

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Ooo, I need a fridge cleaning fairy!

What IS it about condiments? I know I used to do impromptu picnics, and that's where the mustard jars came from. But I can't explain the rest of them. I think as soon as the door closes and the light goes out, they breed.

[sunnydale47.livejournal.com]

Oh, this post and the comments make me feel so much better! I'm not alone!

I'm constitutionally unable to throw anything out that might be useful at some point. A third of a bottle of dressing? I'll save a quarter inch in the bottom of the bottle ("Salad dressing won't go bad, it has vinegar in it"). A few tablespoons of leftover casserole ("I can make another casserole and mix this into it"). Ancient cheese ("Still no mold on it", forgetting that some mold is the same color as the cheese). A $6 watermelon that was forgotten (=cough=).

I check dates of perishables in the store and get the freshest ones, even if there's only a two-day difference ... and then I find them in the back of the fridge months later. (Sometimes months > 12, but I'm sticking to "months"!) If they don't look colorful and smell okay, I usually eat it anyway. It's amazing I'm still alive.

If it's more than two or three years old I'll usually throw it out without opening it. Unless it was already opened years ago. Then I usually can't resist the urge to peek in and see the interesting new life forms. I just wish I would remember to hold my breath first.

I blame this all on my mother. She grew up during the depression at an impressionable age (the crash was two weeks before her 14th birthday), and was a fanatic about saving scraps of food. So she often had moldy bits of this and that in the back of the fridge.

Except when my brother had to do the moldy bread experiment for school. No matter what he and my mom did, they could not get the bread to grow mold. My mother couldn't believe it, considering how readily everything else did!

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I'm with you on eating it anyway - it's amazing I'm still alive, too. I firmly believe that some things don't go bad and that a lot of things don't go bad as fast as the date-stamps imply they will. I'll eat stuff a lot of folks would throw away. I won't serve it to someone else, of course, but I'll happily chow down.

Except with milk. I've had one bad experience, and that was enough.

[hitchhiker.livejournal.com]

it's a marvellously liberating feeling, isn't it? :)

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

It's wonderful. Now for all the kitchen cabinets... and the closets, the bookcases, the desk drawers... :-)

[hitchhiker.livejournal.com]

let's not get carried away now!

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Okay. Not the bookcases!