Illusions

[cjsmith]

Me: My feet hurt.
Somebody Else: It might go away. Any day now it could vanish just the way it came.

That still makes me angry, but y'know what? I can also see the flip side to it, a little bit.

Yes, it would still be mindbogglingly stupid for me to plan my life around the hope that my feet will suddenly heal. Therein lies a recipe for putting myself "on hold" until my grave, waiting until I win the (medical) lottery instead of living now.

Yes, it's still mindbogglingly insensitive of Somebody Else to pretend that this is a temporary problem and thus hugely, quantitatively and qualitatively, easier to deal with than what I am actually facing.

Yes, I still feel like I'm not heard.

Yes, I still feel like I'm being called a liar, and yes, I still hate being called a liar.

But y'know what? Somebody Else might really kinda need their illusions. Denial can be a gift. I can choose to give the gift of not trying to burst their bubble.

The day will come when I'm sufficiently less angry that I can give that gift.

Comments

[plymouth.livejournal.com]

Someone needing to have illusions about their own pain? Sure, that I understand. But why would they need to have those illusions about SOMEONE ELSE'S pain? That just seems weird to me.

[sharya.livejournal.com]

Absolutely. Haven't you ever seen a spouse ever be in denial over their spouse's condition? Or other family member? It's very common.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

What sharya said, and also some people have a desperate deep-seated need to see the universe as a Nice Place. It's almost sad.

[airporter.livejournal.com]

Someone so good-natured and innocent that the thought of another's pain and hopelessness about same sends them into a dizzying spiral of questioning that they lack the skills to break or adjust to maybe?

While I've only met one person who was truly that innocent, I think many of us get caught in this kind of situation occasionally. We don't know how to deal, so we deny.