Frustration

[cjsmith]

Do you ever hear someone pontificating -- preaching -- about something that's fairly new to him and old hat to you? Under what circumstances does it or does it not bug you?

I find I can mostly shrug it off when it's about some kind of technical subject. If I know the speaker is a total fool or severely misinformed, then that's just the way it is, with no need for irritation. But I find I can't shrug it off when it's about living with foot pain or staying fit with a disability. Usually the preacher is not permanently disabled, just temporarily injured in some way, and my GOD the things they think are Big News to someone who's dealt with this for years. Sometimes I think the speaker is trying to be helpful; other times it's pretty clear the speaker is trying to chide me for how I handle things. In the latter case I just want to SLAP the person. My kinder side hopes karma doesn't work, because the appropriate end story to that one is a permanent disability with chronic pain.

Clearly my buttons are getting pushed. I wonder when my foot problems will be so firmly an accepted part of me that I don't even have buttons to push any more. In the meantime, I hope I can mostly avoid that kind of person. I don't want to turn rude and bitter.

Comments

[platypus]

I think a fair amount of it is most people's drive to talk [about themselves], whether or not they have anything useful to say. You have a painful and complicated chronic condition? That reminds me of the time I stubbed my toe!

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

HAHAHA! What a great way to put it! :-)

A fair amount of that I truly don't mind at all. At my previous job I was the go-to person for foot pain, because not only had I tried a lot of things, but enough people had also told me their own stories that I was a pretty good little reference library! I just wish I could HELP more often, y'know?

[meep.livejournal.com]

Yeah, there are definitely people who seem to have diarrhea of the mouth.

It reminds me of the time (=cough=) I went to my Dad's funeral, and some idiot decided it was a good idea to say to my Grandma: "It's worse losing a child than a spouse". My Granddaddy died just the year before.

Some people can't help but step in it. Most of the time, they really do think they're being helpful. But they do end up looking like idiots.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Worst for me are the ones who haven't lost either a child or a spouse -- they've lost a favorite pen, or they've been separated from their kid in a department store but got him back -- and who start lecturing me on how to cope. Blech. :-P

[just-cyd.livejournal.com]

(how about a character on their favorite TV show. i got that when mom died. yes, really.)

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Umm. Uhhhhhh. There are no words.

*hug*, just because, on behalf of everyone who has ever not known what to say at a funeral. (Myself included I'm sure.)

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

...and yikes, that's just awful. I wonder if the person truly had no idea. :-(

[meep.livejournal.com]

Considering my Dad was getting buried right next to my Granddad, and that this all went on in a small town in South Carolina, they had to have known. I =think= they were trying to show their empathy, in saying something like "I know this must be horrible for you" but that all-important step to think things through before saying something in a sensitive situation was bypassed.

[klwalton.livejournal.com]

I once witnessed this phenomenon with regard to death. A dear friend had lost her husband, and at the reception after the memorial service, some twit started yakking on and on at my friend about how hard it had been to lose her dog six months earlier. Now, I love my dog beyond most things, but I'm thinking losing a husband would be a rather more traumatic experience in most cases, no?

Anyway, it was fascinating in a slow-motion car wreck sort of way. The best bit was watching the speaker's face as she realized that what she was nattering about wasn't the least bit appropriate. I give her a few points for that.

[meep.livejournal.com]

I've been ninja'd!

Jinx!

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Yikes. :-(