I'm at my limit

[cjsmith]

I'm at or very close to my limit on the amount of things I can handle, remember, do, follow up on, remind people about, keep track of, or live up to. I'm starting to drop things.

So far nothing bad has happened. So far I have been reminded of semi-forgotten things in plenty of time to do them, or I've had good alternatives at hand. However, depending on luck is not a wise long-term strategy.

Obviously the right answer is to drop or to delegate. ("Drop" can include "postpone.") I wish I knew what to drop.

• Car accident stuff: insurance claim phone tag, evaluating what to buy, occasional chiropractor visits
• My job, which has way too many sub-items
• Calling engagements: tonight, this entire weekend, next entire weekend
• Caring for Duchess
• Sleep

Obviously I could have and perhaps should have dropped some social life over the past week. Almost certainly I should scale back on LJ. The rest of this doesn't seem very droppable. I've already dropped the entire concept of exercise and of seeing anyone about my feet.

Maybe I just gotta get through it. If so, I need a better system. Keep the Palm more up to date? Try to build a habit of looking at it? Make my calendar at work pop reminders up on my screen? Try to build a habit of setting aside an hour or three each week to look ahead to (and make sure I'll be ready for) anything happening in the next couple weeks?

Bleah.

Comments

Re: did you want suggestions?

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Hi Moria! Aiiieee, catch-up time! ;-)

Sure -- suggestions would be welcome. Thanks for asking! Right now things seem to be at least a little bit more calm, but I know it's going to peak again by the end of the week because the insurance folks are going to want my car and I'm going to be in LA.

Like you, I go from "just a bit stressed" to "starting to drop stuff" very quickly. I agree that it probably means we are accustomed to being overloaded.

I am soooo looking forward to the next few times when things ease up. Car done... YMCA schedule back to fall hours so I can swim again... my workplace launches its product and the deadlines become less drastic. By the end of September, Fortune favor me, things will feel pretty different.

Re: did you want suggestions?

[moriamerri.livejournal.com]

Gak, well, now (of course) I can't think of much. Then again, maybe I couldn't really think of much before either. Oh well.

Um, let's see-- random thoughts:
1. for me, looking ahead is very necessary. I resisted trying to make it a habit -- it somehow seemed "messy" or like "a waste of time" -- it is mostly sitting and doesn't "look like" action or "doing anything productive"! I try to do it AT LEAST a couple of times a week. Events are generally a lot closer than I think, and the movement of time trips me up quite often. Anyway, soending time staring at my calendar seems necessary to me. Every Sunday is one good time for me to look ahead (at upcoming week).
2. can all the job subtasks/sublists/sucbategorizes be "compartmentalized" under "job"? Or is it already that way? Can all that be "corralled" so that it doesn't spill out into non-work-time? Spilling out can be either "thinking about work problems/issues" or "doing work stuff" or both. I find it hard to keep the thinking part limited to working hours (sometimes).
3. being as you are calling ALL WEEKEND for 2 weekends, um, it does sound a bit difficult to get the "at your limit" to change much right away.
4. sounds like the "buying car" just became less urgent (hurray!) Can you allow it to take a good long while? (It is totally clear that you realize it is a complex task!) Um, would taking a month or 2 months till you have the new car cause any particular problems? It may be worth considering (at least as "an option".) Likewise with the insurance people: yes, there is some urgency to getting it all done -- but they do this all the time, and most likely they don't have to do stuff RIGHT now or any time that is not convenient for you. (Believe me, if I were in your shoes, I'd want it OVER WITH ASAP.) I think I'm just dittoing your comment "Drop can include postpone." -- and SOME of the car accident stuff may be postponable (even if it seems emotionally urgent). In my book SLEEP is not droppable (causes WAY more problems)-- and the calling stuff you can't drop and it is time-limited and will go away after you finish it. Sounds like work probably can't really take less time until the deadlines pass (although it is always worth CONSIDERING whether a day off is a possibility or not).
5. Caring for Dutchess: in the long term picture (NOT RIGHT NOW) you probably want to look for a couple layers of "back up care", if possible. Not simple, and may not be possible, but may well be worth LOOKING INTO: are there people who can give injections if/when you can't? Would people who catsit be willing to learn? Other options? What do other people with cats who get injections regularly do? And, for that matter, how could you meet a few such people (since they obviously know how to give a cat a shot!!!)

best,
Moria

Re: did you want suggestions?

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

(Replying by number so as to keep it organized...)

1. I find that looking ahead helps me a great deal. Shortly after I wrote this post I put an automated reminder in my work calendaring system so that periodically it would pop up a window saying REVIEW WEEK. I love it. Suddenly I am, while just as overwhelmed, not quite on the ragged edge of losing things.

2. I too find it hard to keep the work thinking limited to work. Right now, I'm trying to be strict with myself about that. I am busy enough outside of work that I need to compartmentalize. Usually I do take a lot home with me, mentally if not physically.

In what way were you thinking this categorization would help? If I had to guess I would say it might help in terms of giving me "free time" in the evenings to be NOT working. Is that what you had in mind?

3. Fortunately the sudden spike in square dance calling activity is going to be of short duration! One more weekend (and a Tuesday night) and I get well over a week off (probably more than two). Wow. :-)

4. I'm still not sure how urgent buying a car is, and this point crystallizes the question for me. I should call the insurance people and FIND OUT. That would be useful for me in terms of prioritization and in terms of having appropriate, not overblown or too weak, stress levels about it.

I agree that sleep isn't droppable. Very very short busy spikes can do well with dropping sleep, at least for me, but more than a day or two can only be worsened by losing sleep, not helped! :-)

5. Thank goodness I *do* have "back up care". It's not ideal, in that I have to pre-arrange it and go make a trip to give someone a house key, but it's a whole lot better than Duchess getting nothing while I'm out of town for a square dance gig! PHEW!

Thanks so much for taking the time to give me all these thoughts.

*deep breath*...

best,
CJ

Re: did you want suggestions?

[moriamerri.livejournal.com]

1. cool!
2. well, sorta kinda. If you are taking mental work home then it seems likely this is impairing your "mental space" for other topics, but may not be reducing your "time" in a noticable way. Mental space is subtley. However, my asking about it may actually be silly -- since NOT thinking about work concerns at home may not actually be something one can decide to do without tremendous effort. But -- idea is that having work life compartmentalized to working time/place leaves more time AND thinking room for other things (including figuring out what, if anything, can be delayed, delegated, etc)
4. yes -- I think worth some work and thinking hard about it as then you'll know how hard to fret/hurry/etc. And MAYBE you'll get some bit of reprieve.

:) Moria

Re: did you want suggestions?

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

2. Yeah, mental space is a subtle thing, although I think the effects of not focusing well can be pretty big. It's probably worth musing on this one a little more. You're right, though, "just deciding" isn't that easy!

4. Looks like this one is going to drag out. That's both good and bad, *sigh*.

:)