Would you like some cheese with that problem?

[cjsmith]

A chilled bottle of white wine is on the counter. A corkscrew is in the cork, and the cork has been removed about two-thirds of the way. The screw portion of the corkscrew stands at a noticeable angle to the bottle, however. On one side, where the screw and the ring portion of the corkscrew are closest, between the two the glass of the lip of the bottle has shattered. The damage extends across the thickness of the wall of the bottle, from outer rim to inner rim. It is perhaps a millimeter or two tall and four or five millimeters wide. Tiny shards are lying on and around the shattered area.

No glass is currently in the wine. The cork is still far enough in to form that much of a seal.

Short of massive amounts of SuperGlue followed by a drill and a siphon, can this wine safely be consumed?

Comments

[allanh.livejournal.com]

Well, for the NEXT time this happens, the answer will start off with:

(1) Drive 10 minutes to Allan & Randy's house, and borrow a coffee filter, strainer, and wine decanter...

[dieppe.livejournal.com]

...cheese...

CHEESE, Gromit!

[allanh.livejournal.com]

Randy usually stocks a small selection of cheeses.

So yes ... if CJ just brings over the offending bottle of wine, we'll not only help her open and decant it safely, but Randy will help her drink it, accompanied by a fine cheese.

Re: CHEESE, Gromit!

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Oh man. Having you nearby is going to spoil me something fierce. :)

Re: CHEESE, Gromit!

[allanh.livejournal.com]

That sword cuts both ways, toots. :)

Re: CHEESE, Gromit!

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

What can I spoil you two with? Wine, got some of that. Kitties, got a few of those. Um, air conditioning? I scored a visit from a friend last weekend because my house had A/C!

Re: CHEESE, Gromit!

[allanh.livejournal.com]

Your delightful company, to start.

If you start feeling really guilty, you can help me refine my choreo.

Of course, when you actually start reading my choreo, that'll just provide you with more laughter, which means you'll sink even deeper into karma debt ...

Re: CHEESE, Gromit!

[ladycelia.livejournal.com]

You have aircon???? And wine????
Add some dancing boys and I'm on my way!

Re: CHEESE, Gromit!

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Think we could teach Rob? ;-)

Re: CHEESE, Gromit!

[ladycelia.livejournal.com]

I'll bet we could...I'd be willing to try ;^)

Re: CHEESE, Gromit!

[mactavish.livejournal.com]

Pity Joe's in Boston for a few days.

And wait, Rob does dance already.

Re: CHEESE, Gromit!

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure square dancing was quite what she had in mind. ;-)

Re: CHEESE, Gromit!

[ambar.livejournal.com]

I could loan you a dancing dog!

Re: CHEESE, Gromit!

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

DOGS and wine and cheese! She might try to eat the cheese but if she's anything like the dogs I've had she'd leave the wine alone.

Re: CHEESE, Gromit!

[aelfie.livejournal.com]

Chocolate! =)

Re: CHEESE, Gromit!

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

MMMMMMMMMMCHOCOLATE.

Re: CHEESE, Gromit!

[dieppe.livejournal.com]

What about Wensleydale?

Re: CHEESE, Gromit!

[allanh.livejournal.com]

Uhh ... [looking over shoulder]

Sorry, we're out.