I'm getting worse

[cjsmith]

I wrote about asking for wheelchair assistance in airports. I said it felt weird because I'd never done it before. I thought briefly of saying "Looking back over the last eighteen months, I probably should have." But I thought a little and I realize that's not necessarily true. Looking back over the last eighteen months, I've definitely had times when I've been better than I am today. When I went to Japan I walked a LOT. I could walk a lot. It hurt, of course; it hurt big bunches; I was never not in pain. But there's absolutely no way I could do that much walking today -- not multiple days in a row. I could, and did, back in January.

I'm getting worse. This is not good. This is very scary.

One other reason it felt weird is because I'm calling for wheelchair assistance for flying to and from a square dance convention. What's wrong with this picture? Heh! Of course, just because I'm going to the convention doesn't mean I'm able to dance much -- I'm not, not by a long shot -- and I'd like to conserve every shard of mobility for times when I *can't* get help. This, too, shows how I'm deteriorating. At other dances in the past I have only thought about whether I could take enough breaks. For this one I'm not even considering attempting to show up at every session. One session, with breaks between tips and maybe sitting some out, is my limit for a day. I don't even know if I can do that much two days in a row.

I envy people with broken legs because they heal. I envy people with conditions that are hideously uncomfortable but curable. I envy people with incurable things that don't affect fundamental stuff like standing up. I've long since quit envying healthy people. They're not even in my universe any more.

Comments

[kateyule.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm so glad you're coming to Convention. Let's hang out some and chat. I also plan to bring a card game or two. We infected the A&C weekend with Fluxx a few years back -- ok, that sounds much worse that it actually is -- and a grand time was had by many. (Not MY fault some of them kept playing until 4 a.m.!)

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Ooo, yay, you'll be at Convention too! 8-)

Fluxx is great fun! Do you own SPANC yet? I sooo want to play that one. Need to get my grubby paws on a copy.

Also want to play 1000 Blank White Cards with a willing group some time. Complete zaniness is right up my alley.

[kateyule.livejournal.com]

Nooo, no SPANC. I Googled for it just now, and just looking at some of the questions people were coming up with -- I have just failed against the Zen Master with my last catgirl, but one of my opponents still has one catgirl left - let's say 6/6/6/3 - who's been left on Catnip Farm, the challenge immediately prior to Zen Master. While it's still my turn, I use Adrenaline Surge to raise that catgirl's Space Pirate to 9 for the Zen Master challenge, her second roll. Is this legal?

--makes my head hurt. It does get lots of points for being illustrated by philfoglio and kajafoglio.

1000 Blank White Cards looks like a hoot!! Will pack accordingly. :-)

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Oh my. That question makes my brain hurt too. I was attracted to SPANC because of the illustrators (of course!) and the fact that in general, Steve Jackson games tend to be fun and funny.

[going off to add two new LJ friends]

[kateyule.livejournal.com]

David's response to all this was: "Airport? don't they live down there?"

Er. I was thinking of Santa Clara. You?

I will spend some time at the Nationals since they're here in Portland again. Haven't pre-registered, though, and I need to go see what I have that can pass as square dance drag. I went to the Nationals in '94. The cultural differences left me extremely cranky.

(Send me your email address?)

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I'm currently at AACE, in Louisville. Maybe that's where the "airport?" confusion came in. I'm also going to the gay convention in San Jose, which is (I think??) what you and I were talking about in this thread & thus where I will see you (I hope).