Etiquette questions for any Catholics out there

[cjsmith]

Remember my foot problems?

I have a wedding to attend tomorrow. It's a full-on stand-up-a-bunch Catholic mass for a very, very devout couple. I will be dressed nicely (hisssss) which means GIRL SHOES (double hisssssssss).

My orthotics don't fit in girl shoes. I can't stand for more than a couple minutes without them before I'm in a fair bit of pain, and you would probably laugh to see me try to walk. I can, it's just that it's pathetic. And that's *barefoot* -- never mind the immense stupidity of elevating the heel and putting any weight on the ball of the foot. Yet I simply do not have any shoes that are Societally Acceptable(tm) that would be healthy for my feet. Frankly, I don't think there ARE such things. Not for GIRLS (hissssss).

If I wear girl shoes the inflammation will probably be back down to today's levels by next Wednesday, maybe a little longer depending on how much standing I do. Friday at the worst, I'd guess.

So - A POLL! What should I do? Please, people familiar with Catholic Mass, tell me. What's disrespectful, what's rude, what's acceptable and what's not? In case it makes a difference, I'll note here that I am not and have never been Catholic, and that I know exactly two people at this entire thing: rfrench and the bride. Oh, and that I have no wedding-appropriate clothing that goes even remotely reasonably well with black shoes.

[LJ-CUT TEXT="But you don't look sick"]

[Poll #470999]


Oh, I forgot to add options for "Get the @#$! over yourself, it's no big deal." Feel free to write that in. :-)

Comments

[therobbergirl.livejournal.com]

Kneeling is the traditional method for people who cannot stand. If you remain seated, you will be very obvious and it may appear disrespectful. The periods of standing are generally about five minutes (or fewer) at a time. You can try standing if you'd like and then switch to kneeling if it doesn't work out. You can even switch to kneeling while everyone is still standing -- you don't have to wait for the next round of standing. But do not remain sitting (unless others also remain sitting, in which case you won't accidentally look like you're being disrespectful). It's kind of a group thing really.

They are expecting non-Catholics. If you were a non-Catholic randomnly showing up to a mass, you would see some notes addressed to you inside the missal (papercover booklets stored in the backs of pews). These notes ask you to try to follow along, but not get worked up about it.

Don't worry about signaling anything. The tradition of people kneeling instead of standing is so strong that people will understand. You especially see it during weekday masses, which are mostly attended by the elderly.

Do try and sit behind someone whose ass you'd like to check out. I have had many religious experiences in church with careful seating choices.

As to the reception itself, just do what your feet say is all right.

Lastly, don't worry about wearing nice shoes, especially if you are concerned that people might misinterpret you as disrespectful. They will see you in your pretty dress and your comfy shoes and they'll get it.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Kneeling is the traditional method for people who cannot stand.

Ah - I *wasn't* insane! I thought I had seen this somewhere in the dim misty reaches of my memory.

Turns out there were no kneelers and no kneeling -- I guess I overestimated the formality.

Thanks! 8-)