Choices

[cjsmith]

I believe I have more choices than I see. Maybe a lot more.

When I say "I have to do my work", that's shorthand for "The consequences of not doing it (loss of face at work, possible eventual loss of job) are something I'd dislike more than I'd dislike doing the task(s) at hand." When writing out the long form I had to take a moment to think what the bad consequences would be. Oh yeah, no job. OK. Now that I've phrased it that way, I can equally well say "I choose to do my work." I know which one feels better to me.

I can also spend a few minutes imagining what else I could do: gee, if I lived in a box somewhere, and grew all my own food, then I wouldn't be burning up much cash, and thus I wouldn't be fixing this OS bug to finance my lifestyle. That'd be a choice too. Of course, I'd be colder at night. That's a disadvantage. Maybe a better box (something more houselike) and a less-stressful job... It's all tradeoffs.

I'm sure the alert reader can do this same exercise with the phrases "I need a massage" or "That's not safe". Both are short versions of a longer sentence often left unexamined. Both involve tradeoffs (risk/reward, expense/pleasure, what-have-you).

There are also choices hedged around by my own assumptions. I keep my techie career because it's rather expensive to live here. I'm not one of the lucky few who has enough money to pay this kind of mortgage and still ditch that career. But it's a stressful job with long hours. There's no way I can think of to make this income in any other career, not without loads of training. I'm stuck, right? Poor me, right? What if... I MOVED? Yes, away from the traffic and my friends and the political monoculture and the free Internet access and the insane real estate prices and the good Thai food. Oh, look at all the other assumptions unraveling when I pull that one thread!

My goal is to see more and more of these choices, and make them explicitly (even if quickly in some cases: no, I don't want to live in a box) instead of implicitly. I expect it will lead to a lot less "poor me" and maybe some really creative life choices.

Comments

[abenn.livejournal.com]

This sounds like a good plan.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I suspect it could be very powerful.

(So far I like the no box plan, too.)

[eichin.livejournal.com]

Exactly right. "I have to" is a shorthand, and people easily mistake the shorthand for the reality. Not that shortcuts aren't *efficient* (it's not like you want to wake up every single morning and re-evaluate buying some cheap land in arizona and putting a tent on it, or something like that) but every so often you need to reevaluate, and see what the shorthand is for - maybe something you've wired in is based on something that changed while you weren't looking...

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Bingo. Lots of other things are shorthands too; the more I can see of 'em the wider range of choices I'll have available to me.

In particular, "not safe" has another odd angle: the implication that "safe" (complete lack of risk, usually physical) is not only achievable but a right. That shorthand needs some serious examination. I'll volunteer.

[quasigeostrophy.livejournal.com]

I hear you. I'm fighting the "poor me" thoughts with everything I've got right now.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Urgle. Yeah. :/

("urgle": interj.: expression of sympathy)

[quasigeostrophy.livejournal.com]

*adds urgle to vocabulary* ;-)

Thanks!

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Want some more? :-)

[quasigeostrophy.livejournal.com]

Heh. I remember sniglets. My favorite was elecceleration, the act of repeatedly hitting a button for/in an elevator to get it to respond more quickly. :-)

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I still use several I learned as a child. "Furble" and "lactomangulation" are favorites of mine.

[quasigeostrophy.livejournal.com]

I was almost afraid to look up "lactomangulation". I had scary visions of some S&M thing with nipple clamps or something. I do like the "real" meaning. :-)

Couldn't find "furble", but I vaguely remember hearing it.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I guess they just listed the gerund.

Furbling - v. Having to wander through a maze of ropes at an airport or bank even when you are the only person in line.

[quasigeostrophy.livejournal.com]

I like! :-)

At the photo shoot I had on Thursday, I didn't come up with a sniglet, but did use a common term in possibly a new sense. The model started off nude and we worked our way up to more clothed shots in order to avoid lines on the skin from tight-fitting underwear and such which I referred to as... wait for it...

...clothes lines! ;-)

[msmichelle.livejournal.com]

Good for you.
What really gets me is when people just complain re: the rat race as if they don't have a choice. Your perspective is healthy and thoughtful methinks.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Oh I'll complain, 'cause I don't WANT to leave my friends and my house and the roots I've put down. Some people don't have to choose between those things, and I envy them, so I whine. :-)

But when it gets down to brass tacks, it's still a choice. Recognizing that definitely helps.

[ambar.livejournal.com]

we should make a note to chat about this next dinner.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I also want to ask you what "swap elbows" means. Would you believe I googled it? :-)

[ambar.livejournal.com]

Sorry, that was in the context of your review of the trigger point therapy book. A lot of that work is done with the elbow in the larger muscles (like the back), so, eg, when I ask elflet if he can unstick me, I ask if he can lend an elbow.

In translation, "do you want to trade some trigger point work?"

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Ah! Google did find it for me, but did not define it, and it showed up most often in sports contexts.

Maybe once I gain clue.

[ambar.livejournal.com]

I am not wanting to push you on this if you are hesitant, but the point was to offer a lab of sorts in which to gain clue.

[jupiter29.livejournal.com]

Good for you! I've always had this philosophy that life is about choices. You can never make your life perfect or predict the future. But as long as you can strive the make the right choices for yourself, you never have any need to second-guess or berate yourself. It might turn out to have been an unfortunate choice based on later events, but if it was the right choice when you made it, then you have reason to be proud of it. And that's how I try to live my life, although I recognize other people may disagree.

But if any of that makes sense to you, than it stands to reason that the better you understand the choices you have, the better position you are going to be in to make the right ones, whether they're obvious or popular or whatever. They'll be more likely to be right FOR YOU. And I have a feeling that this will make it much easier for you to by content with the results. :)

On a more humorous note: "I need a massage" or "That's not safe"... have you been talking to my girlfriend? Because I think if I said the first, she'd be pretty sure to bring up the second. ;)

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

...the better you understand the choices you have, the better position you are going to be in to make the right ones, whether they're obvious or popular or whatever.

Yes, exactly! Some of the obvious or popular ones might not be good things for me, and the more I know myself and see my choices, the better I'll be able to spot that (instead of doing the obvious or popular thing by default).