Enjoyment and achievement, how do they relate...

[cjsmith]

Thanks to cassidyrose for pointing out this neat Molly Ivins column. The last coupla paragraphs really got me going.

Yeah:

Here's to those of us who like to play dress-up, but don't happen to have the particular kind of genetic twist that'll make it to the fashion show runway. Here's to those of us who lift weights without the myostatin deletion gene. Here's to those of us who enjoy trying, even when we're not the best, even when we're surrounded by overly competitive spirits and fragile blustering egos and people with walls and shelves full of awards we ourselves will never win. Here's to those of us who have to work twice as hard as the next guy, but who have a good time doing it. Here's to those of us who can enjoy life even though we'll never get kudos or recognition or sometimes even thanks for what we do.

And you know what?

Here's to those of us who are still learning how to enjoy life under those circumstances. Here's to those of us who do hurt when we hear someone mutter "loser", who are sad that we're always the bridesmaid. Here's to those of us who congratulate the winner and smile for the family photo anyway, because our pain should be invisible. (After all, we only got what we deserved, right? Ask anybody with awards on his shelf and that's what he'll be happy to tell you.) Here's to everyone who has ever felt pain when a dream finally died.

Comments

Here's to you CJ

[wcg.livejournal.com]

I figured out a long time ago as a young Marine that being the best wasn't near as important as being good at whatever the heck I was supposed to be doing. You, from all I can tell, are good at a whole lot of things. In my estimation that puts you way out in front of the millionaire baseball players and high fashion models.

Re: Here's to you CJ

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Thank you, my friend. It's hard, sometimes, to be a generalist in a world of specialists. Everyone around me is better than I am at something. There is no category in which I'm the best. Some days I start thinking why does the world need a CJ? There's no point, y'know? Vic's a better caller and Ike's a better mathematician and Mark's a better coder, so why am I wasting oxygen? Days like that are rough.

But you're right, I don't unequivocally suck; I do a few things fairly well. That's pretty good right there.

Re: Here's to you CJ

[wcg.livejournal.com]

You're damn right it is gal. The world is a better place for you being it it.

And now, I must be off. See you Monday!

Re: Here's to you CJ

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

*blush*

I hope you have... or by the time you see this, had... a good weekend!

Re: Here's to you CJ

[wcg.livejournal.com]

I did, thank you. Very pleasant time at the Callahan's Annex in Nashville.

Re: Here's to you CJ

[thorswitch.livejournal.com]

Well, as far as I'm concerned, you don't waste oxygen (or bandwidth, for that matter). You're very good at knowing how to be a good friend, and you almost always know what to say and how to say it - without just telling someone what they want to hear. I know I look forward to your comments on my journal and your messages on W30s because you are very real and can be humourous, wise, blunt, thoughtful, or pretty much whatever else is called for as needed. I know I'd miss you a lot if you weren't there!

Yeah, it can be hard when you feel like you're not the "best" at anything in particular - the generalist in the world of specialists, as you said - but there's a value in that as well. By not having all your skills in anyone one area, you can fit in wherever your needed and have a wider variety of things you can choose from to do. Every team needs a utility infielder, you know - and being the one who can see the forest because you aren't just looking at one specific tree gives you a perspective others will miss. That's kind of special in and of itself :)

Re: Here's to you CJ

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

*blush* thanks. :-) I'm glad I come across as sympathetic but not just mouthing pap.

Anyhow, yeah, I really do value the friends of mine whose talents are more general. The guy who writes well AND is compassionate AND solved the Marcel Gillen "Fireplug" puzzle as fast as I did... the gal who tells a good joke AND loves her kids AND works hard in her high-tech job... the guy who programs for a living AND attends Zen Buddhist retreats AND showed me what "oak" tastes like in a wine... that sort of person. I also value the "best at something" friends, as long as they're not too full of themselves. :-) But I do appreciate generalists. At least my internal value system is somewhat consistent!

Re: Here's to you CJ

[hitchhiker.livejournal.com]

It's hard, sometimes, to be a generalist in a world of specialists.

Generalists are, IME, far more interesting and fun to have around (and from what I've seen you wouldn't throw that statistic out any :)). And personally, life's too short and the universe too rich to want to be a specialist.

Everyone around me is better than I am at something. There is no category in which I'm the best.

*shrug* 'Good' is a far more meaningful label than 'best', I think - 'good' doesn't require anyone else to measure itself against.

Some days I start thinking why does the world need a CJ? There's no point, y'know? Vic's a better caller and Ike's a better mathematician and Mark's a better coder, so why am I wasting oxygen? Days like that are rough.

I hold the somewhat delphine attitude that existence is a gift, and needs to be enjoyed rather than justified.

But you're right, I don't unequivocally suck; I do a few things fairly well. That's pretty good right there.

And you *enjoy* doing them, which is, I feel, far more important than merely being the best. (That's one reason I never got into hardcore tournament scrabble, for instance - at that level, it's not just a game (or even an obsession), it's *work*, which tempers the enjoyment somewhat.)

The world may not *need* a CJ, but I bet it's more than glad to have one :)

Re: Here's to you CJ

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

And personally, life's too short and the universe too rich to want to be a specialist.

Yes, that's my motivation also! I don't want to focus on one thing too much, because I'd lose several others.

I hold the somewhat delphine attitude that existence is a gift, and needs to be enjoyed rather than justified.

Mmm, word of the day: delphine. :-)

Some days I feel like that -- but if I'm honest, most days I feel that existence is a burden and had darn well better be justifiable. I might feel very differently if I didn't have as much physical pain. I think that sort of thing can really warp a person's outlook.

(That's one reason I never got into hardcore tournament scrabble, for instance - at that level, it's not just a game (or even an obsession), it's *work*, which tempers the enjoyment somewhat.)

I hear you. That's why I stopped playing chess; the competitive aspect just took over. I am now probably a pretty lousy chess player, and That's Okay. I get my mental stimulation other ways and I enjoy lots of other activities to pass the time.

The world may not *need* a CJ, but I bet it's more than glad to have one :)

Why thank you! *bow* I bet the world is more than glad to have a hitchhiker, too. I, for one, quite enjoy your journal! :-)

Re: Here's to you CJ

[hitchhiker.livejournal.com]

Some days I feel like that -- but if I'm honest, most days I feel that existence is a burden and had darn well better be justifiable. I might feel very differently if I didn't have as much physical pain. I think that sort of thing can really warp a person's outlook.

Sorry to hear that :( But surely, if you're in pain, existence has to answer to you, and not vice versa!

I hear you. That's why I stopped playing chess; the competitive aspect just took over. I am now probably a pretty lousy chess player, and That's Okay. I get my mental stimulation other ways and I enjoy lots of other activities to pass the time.

Oh, I'm extremely competitive (it's a unique rush that I'd hate to give up); I'm just not very *ambitious* about it. I don't need to be the best, I just need to win, or to have given it my best shot and been satisfied with how I did whatever it was I was doing. And being the best is no fun anyway - it's always nicer to have someone to aim at :)

Why thank you! *bow* I bet the world is more than glad to have a hitchhiker, too. I, for one, quite enjoy your journal! :-)

"It's always nice to be appreciated" :)

[cassidyrose.livejournal.com]

This reminds me of a song by The Call that my dad loved (I also really like it). I remember buying him the tape single of it. I think it has special meaning for him because his secondary job was substitute teaching and he was very driven by his love of teaching. Anyhow, the song is called "Let the day begin" Here are the lyrics:

Let the Day Begin
Michael Been/The Call

Here's to the babies in a brand new world
Here's to the beauty of the stars
Here's to the travellers on the open road
Here's to the dreamers in the bars

Here's to the teachers in the crowded rooms
Here's to the workers in the fields
Here's to the preachers of the sacred words
Here's to the drivers at the wheel

Here's to you my little loves with blessings from above
Now let the day begin
Here's to you my little loves with blessings from above
Now let the day begin, let the day begin

Here's to the winners of the human race
Here's to the losers in the game
Here's to the soldiers of the bitter war
Here's to the wall that bears their names

Here's to you my little loves with blessings from above
Now let the day begin
Here's to you my little loves with blessings from above
Let the day begin, let the day begin, let the day start

Here's to the doctors and their healing work
Here's to the loved ones in their care
Here's to the strangers on the streets tonight
Here's to the lonely everywhere

Here's to the wisdom from the mouths of babes
Here's to the lions in the cage
Here's to the struggles of the silent war
Here's to the closing of the age.

Here's to you my little loves with blessings from above
Now let the day begin
Here's to you my little loves with blessings from above
Let the day begin

Here's to you my little loves with blessings from above
Let the day begin
Here's to you my little loves with blessings from above
Now let the day begin, let the day begin, let the day start

awesome!

[eeyore74.livejournal.com]

I love those lyrics! Do you have a copy of the song so I can hear it sung?

Nobody's Hero

[thorswitch.livejournal.com]

That kind of reminded me of a song by Rush that I absolutely love (ok, so I absolutely love MOST songs by Rush, but this one is really way up there on the list *g*). In some ways, it's kind of a sad song, but what I always hear in it is the idea that even if no one would consider someone to be a "hero", the things we do can still have a profound impact on those around us - and that really does matter:

Nobody's Hero


I knew he was different in his sexuality
I went to his parties as a straight minority
It never seemed a threat to my masculinity
It only introduced me to a wider reality.

As the years went by
We drifted apart
When I heard that he was gone
I felt a shadow cross my heart.

But he's nobody's hero
Saves a drowning child
Cures a wasting disease
Hero, lands a crippled airplane
Solves great mysteries.

Hero, not the handsome actor
Who plays the heroes role
Hero, not the glamor girl
Who'd love to sell her soul.
If anybody's buying nobody's hero.

I didn't know the girl
But I knew her family
All their lives were shattered
In a nightmare of brutality.

They tried to carry on
Tried to bear the agony
Tried to hold some faith
In the goodness of humanity.

As the years went by
We drifted apart
When I heard that she was gone
I felt a shadow cross my heart.

But she's nobody's hero
Is the voice of reason
Against the howling mob.
Hero, Is the pride of purpose
In the unrewarding job.

Hero, not the champion player
Who plays the perfect game
Hero, not the glamor boy
Who loves to sell his name
If everybody's buying
Nobody's hero.

As the years went by
We drifted apart
When I heard that you were gone
I felt a shadow cross my heart.

But he's nobody's hero
Saves a drowning child
Cures a wasting disease
Hero, lands a crippled airplane
Solves great mysteries.

Hero, is the voice of reason
Against the howling mob
Hero, is the pride of purpose
In the unrewarding job
The unrewarding job.

Hero, not the glamor girl
Who'd love to sell her soul
Is anybody buying nobody's hero
Hero, Nobody's hero
Hero

[cassidyrose.livejournal.com]

Here's to those of us who have to work twice as hard as the next guy, but who have a good time doing it.

I really like what you say here. It reminds me of myself and dance. As an adult who had a thirteen year lapse in my dance training, I do often have to work twice as hard as the fifteen year olds in my dance classes that have been training since the age of three. However, I do it because I love to dance and train. I know I will never be a star, but I work my ass off anyhow for the sheer joy of doing so. And I can shine like a star when doing so, and that is sometimes what is most important.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I think that's an absolutely wonderful attitude toward it all. Someday I hope to be that way with aerobatic flying, or maybe even just with backpacking (my knees and my increasing age and my smallness are all liabilities on the trail). I love those activities. I'll never be the best, but I can love them.

[lkeele.livejournal.com]

An excellent sentiment for those of us who are afraid to try anything we're not perfect at. (And who can be perfect at things they haven't tried?)

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

(And who can be perfect at things they haven't tried?)

As for that, I can show you who. I know several. Life is a qualitatively different experience for such a person, I am sure. But y'know what? Secretly, I feel superior to people like that. I feel like I hadda grow up.