Tribe and Community

[cjsmith]

A friend posted a question about the words Tribe and Community. What do they mean, and what would you do for members of your Tribe? Here is my answer.

Above all, Tribe means people I trust. (While some people consider Tribe to mean something close to "family", "family" is a loaded word with me, so if I try to use that in a definition or analogy I don't get far.) So anyway, trust. Tribe also means people I care about and would miss deeply were they gone. I would stretch myself a lot to help someone in my Tribe who needed it. Someone may be part of my Tribe at one time in my life but not another, for a variety of reasons that could include but don't have to include angst or drama.

I'm still looking for my Tribe. So far, I think it's got three people in it, two of whom may or may not consider me Tribe in return. Any of this could change. Life has a way of handing that out.

I consider Community to be a group of people who have something in common, anything from simple physical location to odd sexual interests, and who communicate with each other (about that thing or other things). They may not be friends; usually they're not. I may not trust or respect them; often I don't even know them well. Chance made this grouping. However, I may have common cause with them, and I try not to piss them off.

Comments

[quasigeostrophy.livejournal.com]

I think I use only a slightly more loose definition, in which you (and by extension, rfrench) would be in my tribe. I never really use that term specifically, though, but have used "chosen family" for similar. The trust and help parts are key - totally agree there. And even though I consider a few people in my tribe who are far away (such as y'all), I figure if there is something I can do, I will, or if I was closer, other help would definitely be more available. (And don't take this as a need to reciprocate if you don't consider similarly - no indirect communication is being attempted here. ;-)

I haven't ever really considered Community in the sense you define. It's harder for me to feel involved in that way. I generally have Acquaintences, Friends, or Tribe. I guess it applies, though. I've just never looked at it that way. Maybe I am antisocial. :-)

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I almost never use the word Tribe either, but because the question invited me to think about what it meant to me, that's what went in the entry. Like you, I have used "chosen family". I don't use it often.

There's definitely another category in between "community" and what I've here called "tribe". There are lots of shadings of the word "friend". One of those shadings involves some level of trust and willingness / desire to help, and you'd definitely be in there, despite the fact we've barely met in person. A different shading of "friend" involves someone I don't know well but do see frequently and feel generally well disposed towards. :-) Obviously, the way I use the word "friend" is pretty vague!

[quasigeostrophy.livejournal.com]

Given how you describe that middle ground between community and tribe, I think we're alike in who we put there and why. And I definitely agree with different classifications of friend within there - some of those you give as an example I'd have put on the closer end of the acquaintance continuum based on my original reply.

Labels drive me crazy. ;-)

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Yeah, labels. They're useful, except when they're not. I like labels and I stick them all over EVERYTHING and then I figure out new ones and have to pull all the old ones off, which gets tiring and sometimes the label falls apart and leaves gummy stuff behind so I try to just cover it up with the new one, but that trick never works. (And I am not silly.)

[quasigeostrophy.livejournal.com]

Eww, gummy stuff!!

(And I am not silly.)

*snerks to self*