Begone, Foul Foot Pain!

[cjsmith]

I got my first four alcohol injections today. Seven more visits, spaced a week apart, and the four nerve bundles that have caused me so much trouble will be dead.

I forgot to rub my toes just beforehand to create a memory of what the sensation feels like. I will never again have sensation in some of my toes. I guess I'll have to depend on the memories I already had.

Yes, it hurt. It's a deep pinching/stinging/bruisy feeling... unique. The doctor was right when he told me the anti-inflammatory injections I had already had were worse, though.

Now it feels like half of each foot is asleep. Cold, tingly, numbish. Apparently even if there is no anaesthetic included, an injection into the metatarsal interstices will often have a numbing effect anyway -- something about the nerves being "spread apart" was what I heard. (My doctor is not big on detailed explanation.) So I left the office walking funny, as I have every time I've visited there. :-)

Comments

[sunnydale47.livejournal.com]

Up to the moment he started them, I was still second-guessing myself, a bad sign when an irreversible decision is concerned.

It's not a bad sign, it's totally normal. It's no different from buyer's remorse (http://content.realestateabc.com/homebuying/remorse.htm), or the young bride's classic questioning on the wedding night, "Who is this man? He's a stranger! What have I gotten myself into?!" You only get that with irrevocable decisions, because when they're reversible, there's no reason to second-guess them -- you can simply undo them if you change your mind.

What's great is that you only second-guessed yourself until he started doing the injections, not afterward. That's a very positive sign that you made the right choice!

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Oddly, for other big decisions I haven't had that questioning feeling. I knew I wanted to buy that house, was happy to make the offer, was pleased to sign the loan paperwork, even felt good moving in despite discovering the enormous waterfall in the upstairs hallway ;-). I knew I wanted my piercings, and even the pain was simply a sign that I was reaching the goal.

This one... ergh. I'm glad second-guessing is totally normal. I'm still second-guessing it, which isn't great for my peace of mind, but more and more I'm also convinced that it's the best choice. It's not a 100% happy choice. It has its drawbacks, and I'll mourn the loss. But it's better than the alternative. Every time I revisit the question (a handful of times a day currently) I come to the same conclusion.