Untrue, outlandish, and believable

[cjsmith]

I need to go to my boss pretty soon and admit defeat on something. I hate that, so I'll put it off. My last post provided just the seed I was looking for.

I want to make up things that are untrue, outlandish, and believable about myself. They should be things I haven't done or things I am not, but that I could easily have done or been. Several will be things I've considered and liked but never took action on.

[LJ-CUT TEXT="Here goes. Anything in italics is true."]

I have dyed my hair forest green just to see how it would go with my eyes. I want to.

I have eaten alligator meat.

I once went to work in a ballgown. I have worked in a situation where I could have.

I can go a week wearing only clothing I myself have sewn. I could at age fourteen or so. Well, excepting undies.

I have climbed Mount Whitney.

I have driven a car with no functioning radio all the way across the continental United States by myself. It had a radio, though I didn't use it. The songs on the cassettes I brought are permanently burned into my memory.

I can burp the alphabet all the way through the letter T.

I have submitted a story for publication in a fantasy anthology.

At one time or another I have grossed out every person I know. I'm pretty sure this isn't true. Grossing people out is not exactly a goal, but it just sorta keeps happening.

Okay. Bullet, bite.

Comments

[lkeele.livejournal.com]

You'll have to work harder to gross me out. My mother was a nurse, and the sorts of medical things which fascinate you were dinner conversation when I was a kid. (SHOW me some of these things you talk about, and I'm grossed out faster than you can say "Hey, look at this!" -- it's a visual thing for me...)

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Yeah, not-in-person isn't nearly so effective. ;-)

We had similar dinner conversations during the time my cousin was in medical school and residency. She was in Boston for schooling, and my parents were in a very close suburb while her parents were 700 miles away, so she'd drop by my parents' house for dinner fairly often. She'd tell us what she learned at school that day.

[wordweaverlynn.livejournal.com]

Hey, me too. Nurse mom, visuals versus words, the whole thing.

Not much turns your stomach when you've grown up hearing your mother talk about maggots in women's breasts.

[lkeele.livejournal.com]

Really? I never knew we had so much in common. ;)

How's this one: every time I wanted to do something as a child, (go camping, swimming, etc.), my mother apparently saw someone die from that same activity only a week previous...

[wordweaverlynn.livejournal.com]

During my childhood my mother was a psychiatric nurse. (So was my father.) Ma's great line was that she worked in two madhouses.

Later she worked in a skilled nursing facility, where a patient's gangrenous foot fell off in her hand.

[lkeele.livejournal.com]

My god, that's got to be upsetting...

We were all happy when my mom transferred out of the ER into the maternity ward.