True and outlandish and unguessable

[cjsmith]

A friend recently made a post asking "Tell me something true and outlandish and unguessable about yourself."

[LJ-CUT TEXT="Here are several such things."] (Many are probably unguessable only to folks I haven't told, but they're true and zany so I'll list them even though I've told people.) The first I also gave in answer to the post I saw.

I once locked myself out of my apartment when I was living in Paris. While my friend and I were waiting for the locksmith, we picked the lock to the building's main door downstairs and let ourselves in.

I have square danced naked.

Once, I (a lowly engineer) sent my company's Vice-President of Engineering out to get me lunch, and he went happily.

Twice in my life I have stayed awake long enough to hallucinate. The second time I knew it for what it was.

I have worked as a security guard, a shipping clerk, a switchboard operator (company's switchboard, not AT&T), a telemarketer (for less than one day), and a moving agent (international incoming).

I have fasted for a week due to illness.

I helped design the control system for the trains going through the English Channel tunnel. I have never seen the tunnel or its trains.

I have fired a Light Anti-Tank Weapon (live round).

One time, while my family was on vacation in Vienna, Austria, I was in lots of pain and feeling sick to my stomach. My mother kept telling me to quit whining. I threw up in a sewer grate. A random Austrian pedestrian asked if I would be okay. My mother decided we'd get a hotel rather than camping that night, although she never did believe me about the pain part of it.

I painted my nails with White-Out once or twice when I was a teenager.

During an Army field exercise, I once slept through getting gassed. I woke up with my gas mask on, found my glasses where they belonged and knew that I had put on the mask myself in my sleep, looked around and saw everyone else was still wearing theirs too, and went back to sleep.

These are fun!

Comments

[datagoddess.livejournal.com]

I have never seen the tunnel or its trains.

You need to, sometime. It's fun! Or at least it would have been more fun if I hadn't had the creeping crud, with Dan and I walking back and forth to and from the snack car getting tea for me. It goes a lot slower in England than France, but I heard they've upgraded the English tracks so it can go faster.

I have square danced naked.

Now I'll never get anything else done this afternoon... That's one heck of a mental image (especially since I've seen you naked ;-)

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Perhaps some day I'll see them. My travel nowadays tends to be much more focused than it used to be. I go to point A, wander close to point A, and fly home from point A.

That image tends to offset a lot of things people assume alongside the phrase "square dancing". ;-)

[quasigeostrophy.livejournal.com]

I have square danced naked.

I've heard of people doing that. I'd be interested, but I've never been where it's happening.

I helped design the control system for the trains going through the English Channel tunnel.

Gah! And I've been on that! *gd&r* ;-)

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I'd be interested, but I've never been where it's happening.

Do you dance Mainstream? I'm sure we could find an event like this for you, especially if you are willing to either wait or travel.

Gah! And I've been on that!

Scary, innit? ;)

[quasigeostrophy.livejournal.com]

Do you dance Mainstream?

If you just mean "normal" square dance, yes. Usually I find myself going to more contra dances and will dance the squares that are called at those rather than attending so-called square dances, but I figure they're real square dances, no?

I'm sure we could find an event like this for you, especially if you are willing to either wait or travel.

Either. :-)

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

If you just mean "normal" square dance, yes.

Mainstream is a list of calls. I don't know what's called at contra dances, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's pretty close to that list.

[quasigeostrophy.livejournal.com]

Heh. Looking at that list, everything I can recall being called is on it and then some. :-)

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

So contra squares are usually simpler? Maybe you need to start a naturist contra group. ;-)

[quasigeostrophy.livejournal.com]

Definitely. The number of different moves in contra is smaller and fixed throughout the dance for each song, so maybe they figure they need to keep squares simpler for the dancers who are there.

[therobbergirl.livejournal.com]

I have square danced naked.

Eep. My dad and his wife square dance.

I'll be off my feed for days.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Heh. Well, to be fair, most square dancers do insist on SOME clothing. (Some even insist on THEIR PARTICULAR FAVORITE KIND of clothing.)

[oddhack.livejournal.com]

Does Victoria's Secret stock crinoline lingerie?

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Last time I was in there they didn't even stock pettipants, an essential part of "traditional"* square dance attire. (The idea is that a woman girl wearing a circle skirt and a crinoline will twirl a lot and show off these lacy bits.)

Square dance attire can look really nifty. A brightly-colored crinoline on a gal who loves to twirl is definitely eye-catching. Well, okay, I admit it's usually the gal herself who's catching my eye. ;-) The attire can also be a royal pain in the patootie for the wearer. I, naturally, don't even own any. No fashion maven, I!

* read: "modern and historically inaccurate"

[ericainohio.livejournal.com]

And can I just mention how dratted *expensive* those crinolines are? As in, $80 or more each - ugh. I love the look of wearing two of those really silky ones and having the skirt stick out so far it's nearly horizontal. Even better if the fabric is shiny or holographic or glittery - I'm a magpie. It's my nod to being girly. The ONLY nod I have to being girly.

My best look is probably more authentic to me, though - a Native American getup. Silk handpainted blouse, turquoise jewelry, cowboy boots. Got me a lot of "looks" from the old dudes and dudettes at dances. Heh.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

a Native American getup

I bet you look terrific in that! 8-)

[genderfur.livejournal.com]

I used to work in downtown San Francisco, not far from the Moscone convention center. I walked past it all the time on my way from the bus terminal to my building.

One day I passed an older couple all decked out in scary square-dancing gear. I thought that was odd, but there's lots of tourists in downtown SF and you see all sorts of outfits. Then I saw another scary outfit, where his Western shirt was made from the same fabric as her nearly-horizontal skirt. Oy! I was surrounded by them, each outfit tackier than the one before, and almost all with that same matching-theme.

I finally realized that they were all walking toward the convention center, from the inexpensive hotels nearby. They were walking to Moscone to participate in some big-ass square-dancing convention. And they were wearing those outfits at eight fucken o'clock in the morning while I was on my way to work.

But y'know, I've been known to rise before dawn and strap on bells and dance the sun up with hankies in my hand, so I'm not really one to talk...

[oddhack.livejournal.com]

I kinda like the look of long skirts with extra pleating, but without the support of the crinolines. In swing or ballroom dancing they can pouf out very nicely in certain spins, but don't interfere too much with dancing close.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I like those, too. Especially if someone other than me is wearing them.

[rfrench.livejournal.com]

Well, I knew all but two of these. That's pretty good :-)

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Wow! I'd've figured you knew them all. Which two didn't you know?

[rfrench.livejournal.com]

Picking the locks, and painting your fingernails with whiteout.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

The locks story happened when Ike suddenly showed up in Paris. (What other friend did you figure I had who could pick locks? Other'n you!) I coulda sworn I told you that story.

And yeah, well, I was being silly with the whiteout.