Nostalgic vertigo

[cjsmith]

I have a friend who contacts me once every year or two, for old times' sake. (Or else it's to have someone to preach at, I'm not sure. He's what I'll call a "born again Enlightenment seeker".) Every time I realize more fully how estranged we are these days and why.

It's very weird. Looking back to the past, then seeing where we are today, gives me some kind of mental vertigo. How odd the paths we tread; how little I could have predicted then. Is this what growing older does? We see stuff like this more often, and our minds make us dizzy with it?

Comments

[ericainohio.livejournal.com]

I think the short answer is - YES.

Maybe the older you get, the more of these types of social contacts you have. I have a couple of these friends; I know exactly what you mean.

If you'd told me even 5 years ago that when I was 34 I'd be a SAHM with an infant and a toddler, I'd have died laughing. Me? Not me! I'm a feminist, after all - SAHM, indeed.

The home birth thing? Maybe I wouldn't have been quite so shocked at that, I dunno.

It's almost hard to remember what you were like when those years are over, y'know? Maybe we need those old friends to remind us of where we've been. *waxing philosophical*

Oh, by the way - I'm Erica, from W20s and then W30s. It's been a while since I talked to you, so I wasn't sure if you'd remember me. Just wanted to let you know that some random weirdo hasn't friended you. Heh.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Hi! Yep, I recognize you... I thought I'd friended you back and now that I go check, I see I didn't. Or it didn't take. (Wouldn't be the first time: grr.)

If you'd told me 5 years ago where I would be today, I'd probably nod philosophically. Outwardly, not a lot has changed for me. But if you told me what this friend of mine would have done with the intervening years, I'd laugh a good deep belly-chortle and gently hint that you'd had enough beers for one day. :-) Looking back now, it seems very "him" -- for him, inwardly not a lot has changed, it seems -- but back then I wouldn't have thought it at all plausible.

(Personally, I think being a SAHM is not at all inconsistent with feminism. Feminism, to me, is about having choices. Not that I'd've thought THAT quite so clearly when I was 25 or so!)

Maybe we need those old friends to remind us of where we've been.

Indeed... and of how much progress we've made, if only inside ourselves. I think that's the coolest thing of all! :-)

[ericainohio.livejournal.com]

Yeah! I'm glad you remembered who I was! Last time we talked was an age ago, and I was still doing the square dancing thing. How 'bout you?

My point exactly about SAHM and feminism. It was a option available to me, and that's the whole point. It was not a choice made lightly, nor one I felt forced into making. And yeah, the 25-year-old brain might have had a problem with that one! LOL