Decluttering Tidbits, part 2

[cjsmith]

More from Let Go Of Clutter

Why don't we get rid of stuff?
- We fear that we'll regret it later -- need the thing just after we gave it away. (Ideally, if this happens, we get over it. If we can't get past grieving for something that wasn't alive to begin with, professionals can help.)
- A biggie of mine: we regret spending money on it in the first place, and somehow feel that keeping it (in penance?) will justify the earlier bad decision.

She has some thoughts and questions about the first one, the fear of regret. I don't think that's a big piece of it for me. The second is bigger. I have a third one, which is some weird sense that everything has value and therefore shouldn't be pitched. (Why it's any better off in my house than in a landfill or recycling place is an open question. Yet I am continually slowed by my insistence on giving things to people or organizations instead of pitching the stuff.)

Project vs. Maintenance

"Life is 5% joy, 5% grief, and 90% maintenance." (one of the author's sayings.)

Getting things under control might be a project, but keeping them that way requires maintenance. (Corollary: I won't get my house just the way I want it and be done forever. *sigh*)

It feels to me like I suck at that maintenance part and can only excel during focused bursts of project time, but the author makes the point that most of us are doing a lot of maintenance things right. It's the ones we don't do well that bother us. This was a good insight for me.

Motivation

She talks about the things draining us of energy, and how to attack them. She lists a few positive ways to motivate yourself. OK.

The nugget that stood out for me was after those, when she mentioned pain as a motivator. Not making progress on something? Maybe it doesn't bug you enough! Saying "I hate having clutter but can't seem to get rid of it" says something is wrong or I'm not in charge somehow. Maybe I'd be happier saying "Though I'd like to have less clutter here, I hate decluttering and therefore choose not to do it." Wow, what a great idea. I'm sure I'll apply this to some areas. After all, I do have more pleasant stuff to do with my weekends. :-)

Next topic: paper!

Comments

[quasigeostrophy.livejournal.com]

- A biggie of mine: we regret spending money on it in the first place, and somehow feel that keeping it (in penance?) will justify the earlier bad decision.

What color is your t-shirt? ;-)


I find that when I'm going through stuff trying to decide what to keep and what to pitch, that two techniques work for me:

1. Bottom of the Pile. If something is low on the pile, when was the last time I needed it? It helps devalue.

2. Detached Assistant. If someone is around to help who isn't sentimentally attached to the target, I'm more apt to toss it. I don't blame the other person later, either. That's key.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

What color is your t-shirt?

Uh huh. (Purple. I like purple.)

decide what to keep and what to pitch

I like those -- particularly Detached Assistant. That's a luxury I really enjoy when I have it: someone who will gently remind me (by example) that I can live perfectly fine without a huge attachment to a bent paperclip. O'course, I'm capable of overriding, but having that reminder sets my level better.

There's lots of cool stuff later on in the book about how to help clarify that decision, too. I haven't tried these things yet, but will report on how they work for me once I do.

[sunnydale47.livejournal.com]

Sounds like I really need to read this book.

We fear that we'll regret it later -- need the thing just after we gave it away.

everything has value and therefore shouldn't be pitched. (Why it's any better off in my house than in a landfill or recycling place is an open question. Yet I am continually slowed by my insistence on giving things to people or organizations instead of pitching the stuff.)

Those are my problems in a nutshell. Between the two of them, they account for virtually all of the huge amount of clutter in the house.


If you decide not to keep the book when you're done with it, can I have it?

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I'm surprised she didn't mention that "everything has value and therefore shouldn't be pitched" one. I bet she's come across it enough. (She's a professional organizer and has seen it all.) I bet she'd have good tips on how to counter it or deal with it.

If you decide not to keep the book when you're done with it, can I have it?

*chuckle* Absolutely!

[platypus]

Oh, I royally suck at maintenance. I need to plan it somehow -- the Sidetracked Home Executive book has this index card system, where you write up your maintenance chores and assign them to yourself on a rotating schedule. My mom did well with that for a while, but I think I lack the discipline to even keep the little cards filed properly.

About throwing out: I don't fear that I'll NEED the things later, but I fear that I'll wish I had them in a sentimental way. So far I've been a little conservative -- at least from my own perspective. My mom thinks I go too far in throwing away things that are still in good condition or useful, that I should sell or donate them instead of throwing them out.

Which, I guess, is the second point you illustrated. I do think in a general sense that an object is better in SOMEBODY's house than in a landfill. However, I've come to face the reality of how likely it is that it's going to end up in somebody else's house, versus the likelihood that if I do not throw it away it will sit in a box in my closet annoying me. If I'm not truly going to eBay it -- and I'm not, because that's a pain in the ass -- and I don't know of a Goodwill donation site with reasonable hours, and I live in an apartment complex so I can't hold a garage sale... then it is either throw it out or keep it, barring a miracle. Even Freecycle seems like too big of a pain -- I don't like dealing with strangers, much less having them stop by, requiring me to be home at a given time and trusting that they'll show up. Maybe for a large item that has a recycling fee, if it's still usable. I considered it with my two old computers, but in the end took them to the free Office Depot recycling program. I still feel some guilt about throwing away usable items, but they are surely no better off in a box, surely not better for my sanity. Sounds like I probably need this book too...

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Index cards are my nemesis! I try to do SO MUCH with index cards and I botch it up royally every time. I think I have to face the fact that I'm a computer geek, not a paper filer geek. When I write a spreadsheet or a simple program to keep track of stuff, it works much better.

I think I will have to get stern with myself on the donate versus throw away question. Donating something is an errand. Freecycle works well for me, but the freecyclers don't always want every item, leaving me with a Goodwill pile of whatever didn't get claimed. The stuff sits around blocking my entryway. Maybe I need a time limit. If it's not out in two days it's trash.

[kateo.livejournal.com]

I think the proof of some of this is that, once you do the decluttering for a while, experience teaches you that you rarely miss what you get rid of. Karsten and I are both pretty hardcore material minimalists and I can only remember maybe half a dozen times over the past almost seven years we've been together when either of us has been looking for something or wishing for something we'd gotten rid of. And in all cases, not having the thing wasn't a big deal.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Exactly. There's a checklist thingy in the book: write down what you got rid of, how much you regretted it, how you coped with not having it, etc. Teaches you that y'know what, it'll all be okay.

Now if I can get it through my head that it's okay to throw away a good, useful, functional object that *I* don't happen to want....

Decluttering

[fuzzygruf.livejournal.com]

In April 2000 I moved from Kansas City, MO, to San Francisco. I moved from a three bedroom house with full basement and garage into an apartment where I had an 8'x10' room. My roommates had the rest of the apartment furnished, so all my stuff had to fit into this small room. I purged so much stuff during that move. It was VERY refreshing.

Now that I'm in a bigger apartment, I've found that I've accumulated a lot during the past four years. There was a flyer on my door the other day saying that some charity is picking up stuff for some Cerebral Palsy organization. All I have to do is put stuff in bags and put it on the curb. Now THAT is some good motivation for me. That gave me a "worthy cause" and also a DEADLINE.

FYI - I got an invite to attend Jordan's dance on August 8th. I'm looking forward to hearing you call. Stumbled upon your LJ today, so now I'm gonna watch to see if you 'dis' me on here after the dance, LOL. ;-) As a new C2 dancer, I'm afraid that maybe I'm "decluttering" Mainstream calls as I develop my C2 skills, LOL.

Re: Decluttering

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I LOVE it when people offer to pick up at the house. As you say, a worthy cause and a deadline make a great combination. Plus it's not an errand to run - just put it outside the house! Those folks get big piles of stuff from me.

Hey cool! I had to click through to your web page to connect up your LJ name with who you are :-). See you at the dance!

[firecat]

I do think things would be better off in someone's house (a chance of their actually being used) or in a charitable organization's thrift store (a chance of their making money for the organization) than in a landfill.

I tried freecycling some stuff, but had no takers. grump

Yep, it's an errand. But if I took the time to buy the stuff, I don't see why I can't take the time to get rid of it.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I do think things would be better off in someone's house (a chance of their actually being used) or in a charitable organization's thrift store (a chance of their making money for the organization) than in a landfill.

I do, too. It's when I run into obstacles getting it into someone's house or store that I realize what's happening is it's staying in my house indefinitely, where it's arguably not much better off. :-/ How long should it stay here before I cut my losses (its losses?) and pitch or recycle it? Two months? Fifteen years? It's a tradeoff between my conscience and, sometimes, getting anything done at all. I wish the author addressed this more.

Yep, it's an errand. But if I took the time to buy the stuff, I don't see why I can't take the time to get rid of it.

I agree on that. Heck, I'd be immensely pleased if I could shop as easily as I can drop things at Goodwill.

[firecat]

As for how long, I think it depends partly on what it is. I'm not using my expensive jewelry, but I'm not going to pitch it either.

It also depends on how much it's annoying you staying in your house, and whether it is costing you money. (E.g., is it preventing you from moving to a smaller house?)

I think that recycling is a reasonable fate for things that can be recycled.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Big nod on the jewelry. I'm thinking of stuff I really couldn't sell, here, but stuff that might be donatable or freecyclable.

I don't know if we WOULD move to a smaller house if we had less schtuff, but right now, we sure won't. :-( I regularly buy storage units and even furniture to try to hide the clutter better, so that's a cost. It also costs me time, tidying and looking for stuff, and the emotional drain of being in a place I find ugly. (I still haven't stopped kicking myself for being affected by the visual impact of my surroundings, but at least I'm starting to do something about it.)

I think that recycling is a reasonable fate for things that can be recycled.

I'm glad more and more things fall into that category.

[ladytabitha.livejournal.com]

Moseying over from god knows where...

we regret spending money on it in the first place, and somehow feel that keeping it (in penance?) will justify the earlier bad decision.

Dude, people have relationships like this all the time.  "Well, I spent all my time with [x], so I can't just give up [x]!"

[pain as a motivator]

Ayup.  I'm better about cleaning my cat's litterbox now that it's an open tray, rather than a covered one - I can see it.