Know Your Audience

[cjsmith]

I write differently for different audiences. LiveJournal brings this out in intriguing ways.

Recently, I gave up on trying to write a journal entry because I couldn't figure out what friends-group I wanted to use nor could I figure out how to present the content well for that group. (It wasn't even raunchy; I have a filter for that.)

Also recently, I found out that a somewhat-sensitive person has stopped following my journal.

Now I'm noodling about tailoring my writing to a specific audience.

Connotations and nuances of words

I've seen weeks-long 'net flamewars on the meanings of words. I find that on LiveJournal, if I don't feel like trying very hard to write accurately, I often won't bother posting at all. Occasionally I'll mark an entry 'private', but that's rare. (Why is it rare?) I drop lots of things this way.

Existing relationship between writer and reader

I try not to lecture my friends or dump my entire emotional state to my boss. On LiveJournal, I see myself editing for this mainly in comments. How well I know a person makes a big difference in what I'll say. This is an interesting area to observe, both on LJ and in my daily verbal interactions, because often how I treat a person can not only be defined by our relationship but also begin to define it. Years ago I watched a young woman destroy any chance of having a support group (or, really, any "friends") in one online forum by always making sure she was the one to OFFER advice and support (thus making anyone who put up with that into a "student").

Sensitivities

People get offended by different things. At first glance, this seems to be another fine thing to take into account, but here there are times when honesty can suffer. The lines between sensitivity, tact, don't-ask-don't-tell, and lying by omission can get blurry. There are things I won't write about in my journal because I know some people who follow it will be bothered. In what circumstances do I think this is "good"? Would this vanish, for me, with enough friends-filters? Will I write differently now that this one person isn't reading? If so, what was I afraid of, and why didn't I simply make a filter long ago? I'm still mulling this over.

Comments

[lkeele.livejournal.com]

Yer such a geek, analyzing things like this. Have I mentioned I've thought about this very question a lot since signed up to LJ?? ;)

The strange thing for me about LJ, is that I DON'T keep the audience in mind as much as I do, say, in my posts to women30s; I figure, pretty much, that if folks don't want to read my stuff, they can take me off their friends list or whatever, whereas on 30s, I sent the e-mail to THEM, hence I'm more mindful of audience.

Except this journal is different from the ones I keep on paper. Specifically, I update it more, and that's because I have an audience, there's a reason to write, it's not just intellectual masterbation (or if it is, y'all are pervs for wanting to watch. ::grin::).

Anyway, this post of yours hit home with a fellow geek-girl; I've been thinking about this more since my 'friend of' list grew larger than my 'friends' list, and I find I use the 'friends only' key a lot more. Mainly, it's 'cause I know most of the folks who aren't on MY friends list are reading 'cause they like Egypt more than they care about my personal life, so I try to keep the personal ones where they won't bore folks. Like I'm a photographer, and self-portraits or pics of my kids are only passed around among my friends, while the 'daily life of an ex-pat in cairo' pics go on public display.

[klwalton.livejournal.com]

I edit myself heavily when I'm commenting in other personal journals, less when I'm commenting in communities. But I write my journal for myself, keeping in mind that I do have an audience - a small, deeply disturbed following though it may be :). But my personality tends to filter out the overly sensitive in the first place, so I don't worry overmuch about it. I can't think of anything I've read in your LJ that can be construed as offensive, but heaven knows I have a pretty thick skin and tend to take personally only those things that are meant personally. So one wonders why I'm commenting here in the first place :):):). I dunno; I think I'm trying, in my awkward way, to reassure you that at least this part of your audience adores your journal, and the intelligence, strength and personality it conveys to its readers.

So there. Phfft. ;-)

[quasigeostrophy.livejournal.com]

I write differently for different audiences.

Seeble! Too many years as a Communications major beat that into my brain. I have a helluva time writing my journal for just me, which is why I tend not to post a lot of negative stuff/whining, and when I'm insufferable (which is still pretty much my present mood), I get concerned that my readers are all going to need insulin. :-)

[wcg.livejournal.com]

I like what you write CJ. No matter what style or approach you're using for that particular post.

I certainly understand about the self-censorship that has to go on when writing a public (or even friends-restricted) post. But I don't dwell on it overmuch once I've posted something.

[datagoddess.livejournal.com]

Sometimes I think about who I want seeing what, which is why I have several friends filters. But once I have a topic I want to write about, I write what I want, and then decide who gets to see it. If someone gets offended enough to drop me fron their friends list, especially if they don't feel the need to discuss it with me, I don't worry about it. I do it occasionally, when I find myself constantly skimming past them.

Comments, on the other hand, I do consider who they're written to. There are people on LJ that I can make comments to that can say anything, and be taken appropriately, and others who will be very offended if I say the same thing. But I do that kind of communication in real life, too.

My attitude is that I say pretty much what I want, and consider who should see it afterwards. And set up friends filters on the fly if needed. And I like reading people who do that, because it helps me see them, and get to know them.

[lesliepear.livejournal.com]

I'm probably the worst person to advise on this. Most of my posts are cross posted to women30s, oct02 (my baby list, as they are baby related) and lj. There's some overlap with w30/lj but that's a handful of people. I've occasionally done friends only - mostly to keep anyone from work out (if I'm gripping about it). I figure if you don't like my writing, unfriend me.

That said, I've been befriended somehow by a teenager who doesn't write anything of interest :(

[sunnydale47.livejournal.com]

I've been befriended somehow by a teenager who doesn't write anything of interest :(

I have one of those also -- she's even left a comment once in awhile, although she hasn't in a long time. I've never understood why she's interested in my journal. I haven't put her on my friends list but she still has me on hers, as do the other two or three people whom I haven't "added back." I wonder where they come from? I've never heard of any of them!

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I too have a handful of Friend Ofs whom I've never otherwise heard of. I don't know where they come from either, unless they tell me! Friendsfriends? Communities? Nor do I know why they're interested in my journal. Many, if not all, I've befriended back, mainly out of curiosity. Perhaps I'll get to know them. Some don't seem to write in their journals very often; some have never commented in my journal, either; others I've struck up "conversations" with, and have indeed gotten to know.

LJ is such an interesting social space!

Hmmmmm

[chiefted]

I always enjoy what you write CJ because it is about you and you are very interesting.

I do understand the self censorship side though, I have done it because I know something I say might offend someone. This isn't a lying by ommision, shading, don't ask don't tell. I know that when I need to unload bluntly I have the select friends for different things. It didn't seem to effect who has come and gone on my list.

[sunnydale47.livejournal.com]

I've always felt that one's personal journal is exactly that: personal. I very much enjoy sharing my thoughts and activities with others, but ultimately, what I write in it is up to me. That isn't to say I don't self-censor to a degree, but usually only in terms of interest, not ideas. I have very strong opinions, and I express them in my journal; if someone is offended, they need to quit reading what I write. That said, I do put everything longer than two or three paragraphs behind a cut tag so people can choose what they want to read. Once they click on it, they've asked to read it, in a sense, so what they see is what they get.

I keep that principle in mind when I read others' journals, too. I wouldn't dream of telling someone I found their posts offensive. It's their journal -- if I don't like what I find I can just stop reading it. (Fortunately that's not ever been an issue, possibly because I'm so selective about whose journals I read in the first place.) If I disagree with something I read in a friend's journal I may say so, depending on how well I know the person, but I'll disagree civilly and respectfully.

In communities, I try to make sure my posts are both on-topic and interesting and/or helpful. My experience with helping has been different from the one you described -- I always try to be helpful, and if I've inadvertently pissed a few people off that way I do regret it, but I've garnered enough positive responses to feel that supplying links and information is very much appreciated by many people, particularly the ones asking for information.

You're a very interesting person, CJ -- whatever you write about, I know it will be worth reading.

[hitchhiker.livejournal.com]

Years ago I watched a young woman destroy any chance of having a support group (or, really, any "friends") in one online forum by always making sure she was the one to OFFER advice and support (thus making anyone who put up with that into a "student").

Perceptive, that. Explains a bit about a few people who vaguely annoyed me, but I could never quite put my finger on why.

[ambar.livejournal.com]

When I started my journal I swore I would write whatever I wanted and let the chips fall where they may.

Since then various highly sensitive/reactive people (whose opinions I actually CARE about, a very tiny set indeed) started reading, and I started self-censoring. This is, apparently, preferable to locking them out of any posting that might make them go *twang*. the one feels diplomatic, the other, I dunno, kind of behind-the-back.

Have to think about this. Thanks for the brain fodder. :)