OH. EM. GEE.

What am I doing here?

I am in a hotel, a beautiful stunning lavishly-appointed hotel, where people come upstairs to show me personally to my room and where the welcome drink is a half-size bottle of imported French champagne. The "night head butler" just gave me a tour of some of the nicer rooms. "Here," he says, "is the owner's room. He's dating two Playboy models, so..." and he gestures to the enormous bed, "and I've just checked that his favorite drink is ready for him. Let's see the suite where Jack Nicholson stayed last..." I am not making this up. I don't know whether he was making this up.

I do not have enough money to TIP appropriately in this place. Thank God I won't have to pay the actual BILL.

I had really better get some good info for my company on this trip. Holy MOLY.

Oh Great LJ Brain Trust, explain to me your custom of tipping

[Poll #1007086]

I'm sure I'll think of other situations shortly. Oh, and what would you do if you didn't have the right denomination(s) of money? I know it never happens in the movies, but humor me: what if?

Aw crap, I thought of another one already. How about the guy who brings you your mini-bottle of champagne and pours you a glass?