If you call me...

If you call me CJ, you know me.
If you call me Carol, you don't know me yet, or you're my sister.
If you call me Kaya, you're the toddler half-brother of a guy I dated in college. If you call me Puff, you're that guy.
If you call me She-Jay, you're my Japanese teacher.
If you call me Tiger Kitten, you're on eBay, or you're Joe.
If you call me Ms. Smith, you're a store clerk or bank teller.
If you call me Mrs. French, you're a telemarketer, and I tell you truthfully that she's in Kentucky and then I hang up.
If you call me Ma'am, you're in the Army, or I'm in Georgia.
If you call me Mistress... mmmmm.