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July 8th, 2002
There are times in my past when I've looked at the enormous mound of useless crap I own and despaired. It's easier to find a bigger apartment than to clean out the junk. It's easier to MOVE all the junk across a continent than to face it and battle the monster; easier to run away than to take back my life.
These days, I'm doing somewhat better about useless crap. Not cured, just... well... "a recovering junkaholic", to steal a phrase. But now it's activities. Time. Everything on my schedule looks valuable, just like every piece of schtuff I used to own had some value. None of it is easy to part with. Yet I am again fighting for no less a prize than ownership of my life.
Running away seems easier, as usual. Rob's starting to noodle about moving out of the Bay Area, probably combined with a change of career for both of us. I must admit it's sounding awfully good. I just came back from the holiday weekend and now I have very little free time until September. But I know that running away does not solve the underlying problem. Whether we go or stay, I have to learn how to clean house.
These days, I'm doing somewhat better about useless crap. Not cured, just... well... "a recovering junkaholic", to steal a phrase. But now it's activities. Time. Everything on my schedule looks valuable, just like every piece of schtuff I used to own had some value. None of it is easy to part with. Yet I am again fighting for no less a prize than ownership of my life.
Running away seems easier, as usual. Rob's starting to noodle about moving out of the Bay Area, probably combined with a change of career for both of us. I must admit it's sounding awfully good. I just came back from the holiday weekend and now I have very little free time until September. But I know that running away does not solve the underlying problem. Whether we go or stay, I have to learn how to clean house.
