Ow. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

Guess what week it is. Ow, ow, ow. Three Aleve and I'm still not moving well. If I didn't have to work I'd try Vicodin. Ow.

Meditation for a Tuesday afternoon

Perform this meditation several times a day until what you visualize is brought into your life.

Relax...

...deep breath...

"Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeese"

...deep breath...

"Choooooocolaaaaaate"

Sink deeper into meditation...

Orgy Planning

Planning an orgy isn't easy, says the Onion.