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The pain
just never
ever
ever
STOPS
four Advil
three Aleve
what does it take before it
STOPS
"there's nothing wrong with you," says the doctor
"you're perfectly fine"
wonder if he's ever felt like this
and whether he considered it fine
wonder how much convincing it will take
for him to scoop out my guts
so that all this will
STOP
just never
ever
ever
STOPS
four Advil
three Aleve
what does it take before it
STOPS
"there's nothing wrong with you," says the doctor
"you're perfectly fine"
wonder if he's ever felt like this
and whether he considered it fine
wonder how much convincing it will take
for him to scoop out my guts
so that all this will
STOP
no subject
For years after I first started having sex, it hurt. It hurt no matter what position, how much lube, how much foreplay, etc. etc. Most of the docs I saw said, "there's nothing wrong--you must be doing it wrong. Relax. Add more lube..." etc. etc. I came to view the pain as a "normal" part of having sex. Naturally, I didn't want to have intercourse all that often. After I met Akien, he talked to me about this problem, came up with a potential reason for it (wrong as it turned out), and got me to see a new--female--gynecologist. Finally, I was diagnosed with a varicose vein in the back of my vagina. Very rare. Almost never seen in a woman my age (about 25 at the time). Hard to see, because of the stupid position they have you in during exams. And a really good explaination of why it always hurt so damn much. This doc performed surgery on me (twice, because the stitches pulled out the first time!), and removed the offending place. I used to joke that I was the only woman I knew to have had an episiotomy without having a baby to show for it! I won't tell you it was a picnic--it took 1 full year for the incision to heal to the point that it was "only" as painful as it was before the surgery. Two years for it to be a positive benefit. But it was, eventually, a good thing.
Don't take "there's nothing wrong" for an answer. Find another doctor, and get an answer. I'm happy to forward the info on my doc, if you wish (though it would be way out of the way for you, since she's in Berkeley).
*sympathetic hugs*