I have entered The Death Phase

[cjsmith]

In families with evenly-spaced generations, sometimes there are phases: a bunch of marriages for a while, a bunch of births for a while, a bunch of deaths all closely spaced.

I have entered the Death Phase. Just lost another one last night.

I have currently lost track of how many and exactly which of my extended family has died in the last year. I am hoping to avoid seriously embarrassing myself next time I meet anyone who was close to those people. Being two thousand miles from most of them, and having been a thousand miles away all during the time I was growing up, makes it a little tough to remember. My parents are getting hit hard though. They grew up with these folks. They're taking round-trips west for funerals and it's like watching the ball at a tennis match.

Comments

[mactavish.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry.

My family's well out of the births phase, and we had one big wave of death a few years back. It made me feel really old. "This is when we start dying."

It sucks.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Kinda makes one face mortality, doesn't it? :-/

[cassidyrose.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to hear this.

My grandparents' went through a death phase some years back with their friends and it was rough.

::hugs::

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Yeah, this is basically my grandparents' generation. My grandma is the eldest of ten, and everyone that's still left is frankly Really Ready To Go.

[wcg.livejournal.com]

I know it's not any fun. My first experience of this was when I was 5 years old. Part of being a multi-generational family with scads of relatives.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I really haven't had to face this, much. Up till this year I've lost more square dancing friends than aged relatives. (Well, okay: the square dancing community is not generally a young bunch.) One disturbing thing is I don't even know these people. I'm not very close to my extended family, and at times like this I have the vague sense that somehow I "should" be.

[tsjafo.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

thanks. It gets me thinking, y'know? Sometimes that's good... sometimes it's unpleasant (but needful)...

[klwalton.livejournal.com]

My family went through this about 15 years ago or so with my grandparents' generation. Tim's mother died 5 years ago, and his dad is almost 90. My parents are in their 70s, along with my aunts and uncles and their cousins, so something in the back of our minds is bracing itself for another wave.

What got me, though, was Tim, the other day, saying to me, "I'm the same age my mom was when we got married."

Eep.

It makes me think that I'd better quit wasting time; I do far too much of that.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

What got me, though, was Tim, the other day, saying to me, "I'm the same age my mom was when we got married."

Yeah. If I were my mom, my eldest child would be eleven years old in October, and I'd be looking at my fifteenth wedding anniversary this fall. Childless and technically unmarried at nearly thirty-five, I sometimes wonder where the heck have I been and what have I done with the time.

Eep.

I hear this hits with force when your own kids get married. None of your children are married yet, right? (I don't know the ages of your kids, 'cept Mary.)

[klwalton.livejournal.com]

Right, none of my kids are married. Megan is the oldest, at 22. The boys are almost-18 and nearly-15.

None of them are likely to be married any time soon. Although I've been known to be wrong before :):).

[itsmegidget.livejournal.com]

CJ sorry your going through this.
My dad has lost 3 of his close friends this yr. To cancer.
It is hard.. and now he found out he has cancer again..

Hang in there.
Gidget

[rampling.livejournal.com]

*HUGS*

*MORE HUGS*