Dear So-and-So

[cjsmith]

Dear Inventor of LEGO,

I sincerely hope you were amply rewarded for sharing your clever, creativity-inspiring, fun idea with the world.

Loyally,

A Child at Heart

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Dear Personal Trainer,

I know I need this. Even when I hate it the most, I know I need it. Thank you for putting up with me.

Tiredly,

The Gal with No Upper Back Muscles

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Dear Boss,

Okay, I got two surprise curve-ball assignments today and I got both of them done. However, as a result I've done nothing on the two surprises still pending from yesterday. I hope you understand.

Busily,

Doing My Best

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Dear Knees,

Thank you for holding up under the strain. I'm trying to keep you stabilized and to strengthen you. Keep up the good work and this will all go smoothly.

Hopefully,

An Aspiring Climber

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Dear IBM,

Your Ponder This website is WAY COOL.

Happily,

A Puzzle Geek

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Dear Creator of Heaven and Earth,

If you exist anyways, would you mind letting me know why ANYone would ever have hair like mine? What's the deal with the design of knees - are they trouble-prone as a minor assignment, so our medical researchers can try to come up with any better design? Am I doing the right things with my life so far? I could use a little guidance on stuff like careers and time management.

Oh, and while you're here, I'll ask one Diane DiMassa has been wondering about: if women have to be second-class citizens in just about every country on the globe and in just about every time period in history, why didn't you make us stupid enough to not notice?

Sadly,

A Confused Chick

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Dear Palm Pilot,

You can't possibly need batteries again. Oh, alllll riiiiiiiight.

Sincerely,

Your Loyal Fan

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Dear Dad,

Every so often I hear from a child who has been through absolute hell... hell caused, all too often, by her father. It makes me grateful for the dad I have. I tell them I wish I could share my dad. I really do say that sometimes. I wish everybody coulda had a dad like you. I just want to tell you that.

Tearfully,

Your Daughter

Comments

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Clarification of earlier (now deleted) reply to your comment :)

I'm not quiiiiite sure how to tell him that without blatantly leaving my mom out of the discussion. I know my mom did her best, but her best... well... I just don't go around telling people I wish they could have my mom. I'm still working through stuff. I hope I'm over
it all by the time I'm *dead*.

I know if I give this compliment to my dad, it'll get back to her, and that in turn will get back to me and bite me hard on the butt.

Must think more on this.

[lkeele.livejournal.com]

One thing that occurred to me quite a while ago:

One's relationship with a father and one's relationship with a mother are two completely different relationships. Dealings with your mother and father, in most people's case, have over-lap, and communication with one tends to get to the other -- but that shouldn't stop you from, say, complimenting one but not the other.

Back in the day, before I had cut off communication with my mother, I struggled with this issue; I would feel kindly towards my mother, and get her a good mother's day present, then feel sick to my stomach come father's day, yet get my dad a present too. Then it occurred to me that I didn't really care *what* my dad made of the lack of presents, presents should be given freely, not out of the sort of 'duty' that makes us sick to our stomach. I began giving mother's day presents but not father's day; began celebrating my mother's birthday but not my father's. It felt so much better. More honest. (Pissed my mother off. But that's her problem, not mine, she's the one in denial about the sort of person my father is).

Compliments, too, are free gifts we should give to deserving people, and we should refrain from giving insincere compliments to others, and let them all sort it out.

I mean, CJ, your dad might really benefit from hearing your opinion of him. Let your mom make of it what she will.

My two cents. :)

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

One's relationship with a father and one's relationship with a mother are two completely different relationships.

True enough. Good point. (But do THEY know that?)

...communication with one tends to get to the other -- but that shouldn't stop you from, say, complimenting one but not the other.

Shouldn't, yes. But then, I "shouldn't" get shit on for giving someone a compliment, and I know that if I handle this wrong I will. My sense of self-preservation is currently stopping me from doing a nice thing for someone. While it's true that in an ideal world that wouldn't happen, this world isn't ideal, and I'm still going to protect myself.

Because I hate that, hate the fact that "evil" is stopping (or slowing down) "good", I'll try to find a sufficiently savvy way to do this.

I respect the way you handled the difference between your feelings for your mom and your feelings for your dad. That's great.

Compliments, too, are free gifts we should give to deserving people, and we should refrain from giving insincere compliments to others, and let them all sort it out.

Yep - and when their sorting it out doesn't hurt or harm ME, I'll do that. So that's my next job: figure out what level of hurt I'm willing to take for this, and figure out how to avoid any more than that.

[cogitating...]

Re:

[lkeele.livejournal.com]

Yep - and when their sorting it out doesn't hurt or harm ME, I'll do that. So that's my next job: figure out what level of hurt I'm willing to take for this, and figure out how to avoid any more than that.

Yeah. Good way to deal with it. And good for you for still wanting to pass this compliment along. Too bad parental relationships can be so damned complex, eh?

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Good way to deal with it. And good for you for still wanting to pass this compliment along. Too bad parental relationships can be so damned complex, eh?

No kidding! Sometimes it feels like doing anything good, doing anything healthy and sane and honest and compassionate, is like trying to swim up a waterfall.

Re:

[lkeele.livejournal.com]

I feel the same way when I deal with my brother. I love my little brother, and I was so happy to see him -- but it's so damned complex. I've already alienated my older brother (whom I love a lot too...) by not talking to my parents. Ugh.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I love my little brother, and I was so happy to see him -- but it's so damned complex.

Isn't it though? Sheesh!

I've already alienated my older brother (whom I love a lot too...) by not talking to my parents. Ugh.

Oh, that's too bad. Sounds like he's trying to protect your parents, a little? Doesn't want them to have to face your not talking to them, so he gets annoyed at you for it? I guess I wouldn't be surprised if your parents ARE that fragile. Strong, confident, healthy folk don't dish the kind of crap they dished at you (yes, both of 'em, in my view, 'cause in my view your mom's attitude is crap too)...

Re:

[lkeele.livejournal.com]

Sounds like he's trying to protect your parents, a little? Doesn't want them to have to face your not talking to them, so he gets annoyed at you for it?

That's *exactly* it. My mom goes whining to Sean about me not talking to her, and he gets all upset at me over it. Bleh.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

So he's helping her punish you, or just taking it on himself to punish you. He's an elder brother, isn't he? Sigh. Me, I wouldn't appreciate that one bit... :-P

*hugs* dear. What a mess.

Re:

[lkeele.livejournal.com]

Yep, he's the elder brother, a role he's always taken far too seriously. No, I don't like that one bit. :-P

[wcg.livejournal.com]

Um... yeah. I can see how that could complicate things.