Why is it so hard to clean house?

[cjsmith]

There are times in my past when I've looked at the enormous mound of useless crap I own and despaired. It's easier to find a bigger apartment than to clean out the junk. It's easier to MOVE all the junk across a continent than to face it and battle the monster; easier to run away than to take back my life.

These days, I'm doing somewhat better about useless crap. Not cured, just... well... "a recovering junkaholic", to steal a phrase. But now it's activities. Time. Everything on my schedule looks valuable, just like every piece of schtuff I used to own had some value. None of it is easy to part with. Yet I am again fighting for no less a prize than ownership of my life.

Running away seems easier, as usual. Rob's starting to noodle about moving out of the Bay Area, probably combined with a change of career for both of us. I must admit it's sounding awfully good. I just came back from the holiday weekend and now I have very little free time until September. But I know that running away does not solve the underlying problem. Whether we go or stay, I have to learn how to clean house.

Comments

[wcg.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's an attractive trap to fall into, where you've committed all your time and don't have any left for impulsive stuff.

I find that it helps me if I budget time for myself, even if all I do is sit around and read a book when that time comes. I at least have the option of doing whatever the hell I want during that time. It's mine.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Maybe I need to make "me time" a bigger priority. Thing is, that's so hard... other things, prescheduled commitment type things, are so tempting.