My ticket in the startup lottery

[cjsmith]

The startup I worked for got purchased a year or two ago. Our untradeable stock (or options on untradeable stock) got turned into REAL stock (or options on real stock) at a price that was high and rising. We were all giddy. We had dreams of being millionaires some day. Some of us were millionaires on paper.

Naturally, before the documents even arrived from the transfer agent, it was all worth much less.

Now that most of mine is vested, it's worth about a twentieth of its high... and, frankly, it is still overvalued. Unless my company (I am carefully not naming my employer here) lays off about two thirds of its people (including me) and concentrates on its core, to reflect the new reality of the high tech industry, I wouldn't want to buy their stock at any price.

I'm giving up. Everything I hadn't already sold, I'm going to cash out. What I thought would let me retire someday will be just enough to buy me a car... a small car... maybe used.

I still believe I chose wisely among the fledgling companies; ours had smart people, good ideas, savvy marketers, and enough wisdom to go hire some decent and experienced leadership. We were not a bunch of dot-com morons. (Unfortunately, I realized later, our customers' customers WERE.) I suppose it could have worked out... at just about any other time in the past decade, it may well have bought me a lovely airplane if not let me retire. I know thirty-year-old retirees. But I missed my chance by trying so late in the game. I don't think that sort of thing is likely to happen any more.

And the purchasing company has destroyed my startup. Good people are leaving at a steady rate. The people I most want to keep in touch with are working elsewhere. There's nothing worth doing around here any more.

Four years. [insert sound of flushing here.]

Comments

[wcg.livejournal.com]

Oh CJ... I wish it had turned out better for you.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Thanks. One thing I'm learning, past coupla years, is how big a role luck plays in our lives. Some people got their tickets in the startup lottery early, and are still millionaires today. Others didn't. One group is no smarter, no more hardworking, than the other. Similarly, some people made it to their destinations or managed to get out of the building on September 11 last year, and others were on the wrong plane or the wrong floor. Oops.

So now I gotta figure out what to do next.

[wcg.livejournal.com]

Yeah, luck is one of those things you hope to have, but can't really control. On the other hand, the Romans were wont to say that Fortuna was a demanding mistress, and being one of her favorites carried a high price.

I don't know CJ... seeing all that possible wealth dry up and blow away like fairy gold has to be sickening. Bad enough when I see my corporate stock at half what it was 18 months ago, but I can only imagine what it must be like for you, who put so much into making the company a vital thing.

Still, you're a high speed low drag kind of gal. You'll land on your feet, I'll bet anything, and that quality will serve you well no matter where you go.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

On the other hand, the Romans were wont to say that Fortuna was a demanding mistress, and being one of her favorites carried a high price.

I'm trying to think what they could have meant. Good luck in one place, ill luck in another?

...what it must be like for you, who put so much into making the company a vital thing.

Yeah. But to be honest, I did that for other companies too, where I didn't have a stake. (Stupid perhaps, but I did.) So I can't throw that into my whine-bucket and claim I was "had". :-)

Still, you're a high speed low drag kind of gal. You'll land on your feet, I'll bet anything, and that quality will serve you well no matter where you go.

Thanks. I'm hoping!

[wcg.livejournal.com]

The comment about Fortuna is a reference to the fact that the most famous (and fortunate) Romans seemed to pay a high price for their luck. Gaius Marius was laid low by a stroke, Lucius Cornelius Sulla by what we now think was adult onset diabetes, Gaius Julius Caesar by assassins. Marcus Crassus owned most of Rome, but lost a dissastrous battle at Cyrrahe. Gnaeus Pompeius Magnus was the most successful Roman general ever, yet he died ignominously seconds after he stepped ashore into Egypt. Scipio Africanus won the 2nd Punic War against Hannibal, and was then banished because the Romans feared him. They also tended to have unhappy love lives, probably because they spent so much time in their public lives that they had no time for the private family life.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Ah. I guess everybody's gotta die of something, but... yeah... "good luck here bad luck there" sort of thing.

I am like this in some ways. As a child, I got good genes and an emotionally abusive environment. I have great parking-space luck but have always been the one selected for random searches at the airport. I have never had a cavity but I'll probably have diabetes; I've never missed a flight but my checked luggage has never made one. My friends and I joke that if I went to Las Vegas, we are not sure whether I'd win big or lose big but we know I'd be strip searched on the way out!

[wcg.livejournal.com]

I got good genes and an emotionally abusive environment.

Yeah, that resonates with me. Pretty good genetics (the tendency for my male ancestors to die young had to do with their employment choices), and some really difficult stuff from my parents -- especially my dad. Fortunately, I was raised mostly by my Irish born grandmother.

I have never had a cavity but I'll probably have diabetes

Ouch. My mother has developed it late in life, but seems to have it under control. Still no fun. It may help you that you're not planning to have children. That seems to be a tipping point for a lot of women with a genetic tendency for it.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Given my family history, if I'd had children I'd already be diabetic. And they'd've been huge honkin' kids, too. What some women will go through to procreate...! Adoption sounds mighty fine.

[lesliepear.livejournal.com]

In my own way, I've been there, done that. I was at a startup once for 3 weeks and 3 days right out of college and was laid off. (They closed 6 months later). The place I am at seemed good in December/January, now they are having money trouble and making weird decisions.

Keep your eye out for something better and move on.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

now they are having money trouble and making weird decisions.

Ick, I sympathize. I *hate* that stage of things.

Keep your eye out for something better and move on.

Amen sistah. You too... I am wishing "something better" your way.

[dawnd.livejournal.com]

*Believe* me, we feel your pain. We only wish we'd had some better tax advice at that stage, and had sold a LOT of stock RIGHT away..... *sigh* I'm figuring we'll hang on to the stock, but we could be hanging on for a loooooong time. And of course we don't have nearly the amount of it you do, nor did we have the investment that you and R did. Yuck.

Lady Fortune is indeed a fickle mistress.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

[insert wry smile here] I figured you'd sympathize, as do I with you. Maybe I need to sacrifice something on Fortuna's altar. I'll mention your names while I'm there.

[wcg.livejournal.com]

I don't know how serious you are about this, but a traditional gift would be grass from the battlefield where you won your triumph. (That's probably a bit easier for you to come by than a ewe, which would be the other part of the triumphator's sacrifice.)

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Hrm. Carpet lint from an airport gate area? ;-)

[wcg.livejournal.com]

I suppose she might understand that. Hard to say though. Maybe a photocopy of your flight log? Something that symbolizes the victory anyway.