(no subject)

[cjsmith]

This Twitter post, and the replies, hit me hard this morning.

https://twitter.com/EmmettComix/status/1458534462522859526?s=20

I have never seen this side of cis masculinity. (Affirmation and inclusion are not stereotypically offered by cis dudes to persons who look like me, no matter the topic.)

I am realizing that if a friend is someone who would be supportive and welcoming about something that's that deeply important to me, then I currently have zero cis dude friends among the people I hang out with.

Knowing why doesn’t make it sting less.

Comments

[cjsmith]

One of the cruelest things for humanity is that for a majority of people, sexual desire crosses a very steep hierarchical boundary. My status as desirable object is threatened if I gain the potential status of friend, and that shift represents a loss to the other person.

[wcg]

Huh. I suppose that's true for a majority of male identifying people. My perspective is that friend is a higher probability state, and therefore the better state to seek. If sexually desirable partner happens to become available at some point, that's OK too, but that's just a nice plus.

[cjsmith]

That’s pretty nifty. :)

My mental model of “the majority” is that sex (along with what passes for romance among people who cannot be romantic with an equal) is supremely important, creating a frantic desperation that overwhelms most other considerations.

(My mind is not a nice place. :/ )

[amaebi]

:(

Myself, I don't want romantic or sexual contact, let alone partnership, with anyone who's not a friend, which makes that not sting for me.

BTW, speaking as a sort of genderqueer person, I perceive you as *person*. Or as he tweet says, friend.

[cjsmith]

How I’m perceived and treated has a lot more to do with what they want than what I want, of course. (Another reason I wish I looked different.)

Thank you! I think you are really nifty and I’m really glad to know you.