What I’d like in social media

[cjsmith]

I’m realizing this morning that social media isn’t social. It’s news, or at least the best most of us get for news. (And a poor and unreputable aggregator it is, but that’s another topic.)

What I miss most about social media of days gone by is social contact. There aren’t places like that now. Does anyone even have time for that?

Comments

[nosrednayduj]

I sometimes tweet my personal status, and I use DW exclusively for personal stuff.

So, I guess, yeah, I miss it too, since DW is insufficiently populated.

[wcg]

I worry about people who use FB (or whatever) for news, because it's a terrible way to get news. I still use feedly to aggregate actual news articles, and I sometimes repost an article I get from there to FB in the hope of giving it wider circulation. But I sincerely hope the people who follow me on FB are also getting news from other non-FB sources.

As for social contact, this is about all that's left. Well, this and LJ, but the two are largely mirrors of each other for me. Fortunately I have dances several nights a week to get non-digital social contact.

[lcohen]

i feel like i do get social contact from FB but my flist is very carefully cultivated to be people i actually know in person and i unfollow whenever it seems called for. the problem with FB is that it isn't necessarily a good way to have a conversation with anyone but the original poster--you're never sure who's seen what, when.

i have some social contact here and on LJ (the same stuff from me, but some people never moved over from there) but i can't say that i'm using it the way i used to where i engaged in more conversations with people i didn't know. it really is a journal for me--a good way to keep track of things i do so i can remember when x thing happened. the social contact is welcome but at this point i'd keep doing this even if no one ever commented.

[amaebi]

Could you say what social media you have in mind, as social spaces?

I miss the irc of the old days. But-- to my mind-- it was becoming a place where people periodically and disjointedly ejaculated tech recitations more than a conversation space, and the few times I've popped in during the past decade or so, nearly entirely so, though my sample size is too small.

I do see people having social space/time for themselves on their fb and DW, but it seems to be based on them being considered worthwhile people who matter and are cared about in ways I and many others don't seem to be. And I see people having social space/time on Twitter, based on much the same status or on previous relationships from online or non-online worlds.

[tryslora]

I guess that depends on what you mean by social contact?

The two primary places I live lately are on Pillowfort and Discord.

On Pillowfort, I get the post/discuss of a place like here, along with the reblogs/signal boosts of Tumblr, and I really enjoy the combination. I can choose to consume and interact, and get some lovely conversations going.

On Discord, it's chat based around specific topics (sort of). I belong to a few writing communities there, and they are very very social (one server has sprung up a bunch of off-topic channels because we kept taking over the general channel with so many side topics). But it's there that I can just hang out with friends, whine and kvetch as needed, but also chatter and talk and bond. It's pretty much my rock. On the other hand, it totally depends on people being around and what servers you're on for the drama levels, and I tend to work around fandom and writing servers myself.

[cjsmith]

Same here (minus the tweeting; I never did get started with that). I wish this place were as populated as LiveJournal used to be.

[cjsmith]

I agree that it’s a terrible news aggregator. I am reminded of a discussion in school long long ago, about how in certain periods of history the vast majority of the populace formed their opinions of the world around them based almost exclusively on rumors. People who get their information mainly on a site like that have regressed to that state.

If this is all that’s left then I’ll use it to the best of my ability! :)

[cjsmith]

I tried carefully pruning my news feed on FB, but a lot of the people I know and care about don’t use FB for social contact, only for sharing links. (I wish there were a way to subscribe to only a person’s statuses that aren’t reshares of stuff, but that’s just one way FB is actively user hostile. The non chronological stuff and the deciding not to show you something they think you shouldn’t bother with is also pretty hostile.) Anyeay, around the same time that I realized my feed would need to go to near zero, for multiple reasons I bailed.

I too have a leeeetle bit of social contact here. And yes, it’s a journal for me as well.

[cjsmith]

I miss LiveJournal and to some extent even Usenet. I think I miss what FB used to be, maybe seven-eight-nine years ago.

I agree that there are some people who seem to have social contact even on a social-contact-hostile platform like FB, and DING DING DING you’ve hit the nail on the head: those are people who are cared about by others and valued by others in ways I will never be. And I’m sorry to hear you feel you are in this category as well. It’s a big pile of no fun.

[cjsmith]

All of the stuff you mention would definitely be good “social contact”: post and discuss, chatter and talk and bond, whine and kvetch as needed. This place could do that if it were a bit more populated. LJ used to be my rock the way Discord is yours. I need a new rock. :-)

[hitchhiker]

the more i hear about pillowfort the more promising it sounds. i'm still on the waitlist for it though.

[lcohen]

see now, seeing you here makes me realize that there are probably more people over here from LJ than i realize. sure, it's not as populated as LJ over here at DW, but it's probably more populated than i know.

[hitchhiker]

yes :) i'm slowly adding people as i discover them

[cjsmith]

Same.

[zahraa]

I try to avoid reading the people who mostly post news in favor of those who mostly post personal stuff (which means I miss a lot of M's stuff).

[cjsmith]

I do the same, which means I finally simply dropped the entirety of Facebook.

wcg shared an interesting retrospective on Live Journal earlier. Ah, those were the days.

[tryslora]

Discord is a great rock IF you happen to fall into the right chat community (not just right topic, but right people) for you, y'know? I got really lucky.

[tryslora]

I really do like Pillowfort, even if it's still kind of quiet and slow. It's getting there.

[cjsmith]

I know what my luck is like, so I think I probably won’t try there. Glad you have a good bunch!

[cjsmith]

Have you heard anything that indicates they will ever open it back up again or is that a lost cause?

[tryslora]

I wasn't aware that it was still closed? If anything, I thought it might be limited numbers coming in (we had a huge influx that literally crashed the servers right after the Kickstarter), but I thought purchased invites were still going out... I don't know if/when they will open it up completely to non-paid tokens. I used both the tokens I got from their Kickstarter or I would offer you one. :(

[cjsmith]

Ah... yeah I signed up as a potential free loader and haven’t heard a thing for months. What’s this about paid memberships? Didn’t know that was an option. Need to find someone with a token?

[tryslora]

There were the beta waves that were done before the Kickstarter, then the Kickstarter, and now I think they have a thing for $5 for a token? Um... oh okay, they are still down for new registrations. :( Sadly I have no idea when they plan on reopening it. I hope soon. The site will definitely need to grow and not alienate folks, too, even if it's wonderful already. Can't thrive without peoples.

[cjsmith]

Yeah, I admit I’m not hugely hopeful there. I guess we will see.