Clinic tidbits

[cjsmith]

It's been a while since I wrote one of these. I have learned:

- How to hold a guinea pig so he can get his nails trimmed.
- Alaskan Malamutes are NOT just slightly different from huskies. They are HUGE HUGE DOGS. I mean it. HUGE.
- Bengal cats WILL escape their cage. When you and your six extra arms manage to get them back in, they will decide they don't know each other any more, and they'll get into a nasty fight. After they've been separated, they will also knock over all food and water bowls within minutes of their placement.
- It is possible for a one-year-old Golden Retriever to snooze all day. Yes, a Golden! Just send him through anaphylactic shock & quick treatment with steroids. Nap time.
- Jack Russell dogs are insane.
- Jack Russell dogs trying to eat while wearing an Elizabethan collar are hilariously funny. Successful, but hilariously funny.
- I am therefore a mean and terrible person.
- A thick-coated dog who for medical reasons has had a penectomy (men, don't google this) is thenceforth prone to chafing and infections in the surrounding skin, and when you shave him, he really gets... um... pissed off.
- Some dogs who have truly enormous bladder capacity will demonstrate it when pissed off. (Why do these appointments have to occur in the morning? I wouldn't have minded having clean scrubs well into the afternoon. Really, I wouldn't have minded.)
- The stethoscope I think I want is a Littmann Master Classic II. I can hear way better with those than with others I've tried.

Comments

[billeyler.livejournal.com]

CJ, you just gave me a well-needed laugh tonight! Are you channeling Erma Bombeck???

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I don't know. Am I? I guess if Erma Bombeck had worked in a veterinary clinic...! :-)

[wordweaverlynn.livejournal.com]

More like James Herriot.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

High praise indeed! If only I could be such a compelling and heartwarming writer. But hey, I'm loving what I'm doing, and I'm loving the animals, as Herriot obviously did, so we've got that big similarity going.

[anirishpenguin.livejournal.com]

I love hearing about your time at the clinic.
They're almost always amusing (unless someone goes down).
Also, you are not a mean and terrible person.

How are your classes going?

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Ya gotta laugh or you'll cry. I really do chuckle over these clinic events!

Classes are going well - lots of work, but it's not (yet) difficult.

How about your classes?

[anirishpenguin.livejournal.com]

My classes are also going well, lots of work but going along.
Thanks for asking

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

It's crazy how much work it can get to be! What classes are you taking? I don't think you said. (Me = first year physics, first year chem, first year bio.)

[bjarvis.livejournal.com]

I'm seriously in the wrong line of work. I like yours much better.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

It seems to me that in your line of work you're often corralling unruly creatures and trying to get them to behave in a reasonable manner. ;-)

[bendoutdoors.livejournal.com]

And if his unruly creatures don't cooperate I say he should perform said penectomy on them.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

While cackling madly. And posting to LJ.

[chalepa-ta-kala.livejournal.com]

- Bengal cats WILL escape their cage. When you and your six extra arms manage to get them back in, they will decide they don't know each other any more, and they'll get into a nasty fight. After they've been separated, they will also knock over all food and water bowls within minutes of their placement.

Color me unsurprised. ;)

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Somehow I figured you would be! :-) :-)

[iridium.livejournal.com]

*grin* Yay clinic stories!

Which stethoscopes have you tried? I haven't bought one yet, and am still trying to figure out which I want.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Several Littmanns: a pediatric, a Cardiology III, and a Classic II. I can imagine the pediatric being very good for working on animals, but I can't hear SQUAT through it. Maybe there was something wrong with that particular one. I've seen only one of that model. But the two Master Classics I've tried have both had excellent acoustics, which I attribute to the particular "Master" shape of the head.

If you wanted to drop by the clinic and try several, on the humans for example, I'm sure people would let you. We don't have any of the really expensive ones, though -- the digital or the Master Cardiology -- nor do we seem to have anything but Littmanns.

[iridium.livejournal.com]

Randomly coming back to this, since I still had the link in my inbox: I borrowed my housemate's for several months (Classic II, I think) and liked it ok; I found a reasonable deal on a Cardio III and bought that. Seems to work well enough, though learning to hear subtle breath sounds and abnormal heart sounds is going to take awhile.
(Exam tomorrow, procrastinating madly. :)

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Oh cool! Glad you found one you like. I am still postponing buying one for myself. I don't know whether I subconsciously believe the Tooth Fairy will bring me one or whether I'm just wisely waiting until I really need it. :-)

[kimatha.livejournal.com]

I agree with everyone - your clinic stories are great. Not only because the stories themselves are awesome, but because it's so obvious that the person writing them is so very glad to be there experiencing them.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I adore this. Even though cleaning up poop is really getting to be quite a grind, I still completely adore this. I am so lucky.

[busysuzy.livejournal.com]

I wish you could have filmed the JR eating with the collar. That really must have been hilarious (probably pathetic, too).

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

He was a total nutcase. He kept pushing the bowl forward as he tried to shove his nose deeper into it, and eventually the bowl would become wedged into the corner of his run, and he'd yelp and whine until I picked it up and shook the food back into the middle of it. Then he'd schnorfle vigorously again for another ten minutes. He was a hoot.

[exvapi.livejournal.com]

I have a pound puppy that is a mix of Jack and black lab (no I don't know just how that was done, and don't think I want to).

He turned out to be a lab sized terrier.

The Mastiff just barely tolerates the energy field. If he didn't have to wake up to kill the black thing, he would have long ago.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

That image strikes terror into my heart. A Lab-sized terrier!

Your description of the Mastiff's response made me burst out laughing.

[exvapi.livejournal.com]

Last night my daughter, her husband and dog were over. With a victim/playmate at hand the lab/terrier went stupid and was bouncing all over.

About 9, the mastiff decided it was bed time and there was a low rumble from his room that went like "You two calm down. It's bed time. don't make me come in there."

When the jumping/running/bouncing continued, the mastiff appearing in the family room with a grumbling noise. The lab/terrier sat right down and didn't move, didn't move except to lay down once the big guy turned and left.

I would love to have that bit of "dog talk" translated. If it worked so well on a maniac, it should work in an out of control Homeowner's Association meeting.

[racerxmachina.livejournal.com]

Jack Russell terrier + stepladder + gumption * lady dog who is willing to try anything once= your dog

[allanh.livejournal.com]

Perhaps a spare pair of scrubs in your car trunk would be a good idea.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I had a spare shirt. Turns out that's the part I needed least. :-)

[allanh.livejournal.com]

I'm waiting to read all about your first examination of a recalcitrant tortoise.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Sadly I'm unlikely to see those for a while. I work Saturdays, and our reptile guy isn't there on Saturdays.

[racerxmachina.livejournal.com]

Even though pee isn't all that fun, I love that you're learning and enjoying yourself!
Apparently Dorothy is a hit at the vet-- she's so shy that the techs can do anything to her, as she just goes limp.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Placid cats are a real bonus to those of us who are learning. Yesterday I must have taken one sweet cat's pulse rate about eight times, trying out all the stethoscopes. She just sat there. :-)