Tuesday, March 18th, 2008 12:08 pm
It's just past noon and I should probably be hungry. It would be convenient to be hungry now, since in twenty minutes I'm going to leave for an appointment and I'm not going to have another chance to eat lunch until two.

Instead, my stomach feels... not truly bad, but not quite right. It feels almost like stage fright: I'm jittery and almost nervous, I have too much energy but no focus, I want to get up and walk down the hall but I don't know where I'd be going or why, and I can't think. My breathing is shallow until I notice and take a few slow deep breaths; the next time I notice, it's faster and shallow again.

This must be what happens when I have chocolate cake.

I did scrape all the frosting off it. I'm not a complete idiot. And I didn't have much; I took a slice that would, if formed in a different shape, have been smaller than a donut.

This is awful.

Note to self: next time you think chocolate cake at 9:30 would be a spectacular way to have a healthy breakfast, go read this entry, 'kay? UGH.

Deep breaths. There ya go. Again; good. At least you didn't have caffeine. Things could be so much worse.
Tuesday, March 18th, 2008 07:21 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry you're not feeling well. I hope you feel better soon.

In the future, in what can only be described (by me) as an extreme act of friendship, I would be willing to eat your chocolate cake for you whenever you feel tempted. :)
Tuesday, March 18th, 2008 07:26 pm (UTC)
Note to self: next time you think chocolate cake at 9:30 would be a spectacular way to have a healthy breakfast, go read this entry, 'kay?

"The first one down was the four-year-old. The child looked lovely. Cute little face, clean. Hair in little braids, little things, you know. 'Good morn', Daddy.' And I said, 'What do you want for breakfast!?' The four-year-old has the ability to see through and find the wrong thing. The child saw through my body what was behind me. She saw the chocolate cake. She said, 'Can I have chocolate cake?' And I said, 'Chocolate cake, where?' She said, 'Chocolate cake behind you.' And I looked... and there was chocolate cake! The child wanted chocolate cake for breakfast! How ridiculous! And I said... and someone in my brain looked under chocolate cake and saw the ingredients: Eggs! Eggs are in chocolate cake! And milk! Oh goody! And wheat! That's nutrition! 'What do you want?' 'Can I have some chocolate cake?' 'Chocolate cake coming up!'"

-- Bill Cosby, "Himself"
Tuesday, March 18th, 2008 07:29 pm (UTC)
Speaking from personal experience, try a smaller piece and eat a bunch of protein first (a piece of chicken, or a few eggs) -- have the cake for dessert. Then you might be able to get away with eating chocolate cake at breakfast. :) Protein keeps my body from overreacting with the insulin and giving me low blood sugar, which causes symptoms like you're describing here.
Tuesday, March 18th, 2008 08:43 pm (UTC)
I didn't think I'd be the first to make this connection.
Tuesday, March 18th, 2008 09:34 pm (UTC)
I have a tear in my eye, reading of your selfless generosity! :)
Tuesday, March 18th, 2008 09:35 pm (UTC)
Absolutely: protein is key. I just need to remember that when I walk over toward the office break area and there's chocolate cake calling to me with its evil little chocolate voice. "CJ!" it says. "I'm not that bad, really! You could scrape the frosting off; that would be good enough!" It LIES. The cake is (full of) LIES.
Tuesday, March 18th, 2008 10:12 pm (UTC)
As someone else posted, I too try to find protein if I start feeling like that and I'm pretty confident I can trace it to sugar intake.
Tuesday, March 18th, 2008 11:35 pm (UTC)
Bad stuff. I no like. Now if only I could make my sweet tooth vanish completely! It used to be a lot larger and more powerful, and I'm glad the trend is in the right direction, but I do still get caught from time to time.
Tuesday, March 18th, 2008 11:37 pm (UTC)
okay, speaking of complete idiots, i read this post and yet when presented with a fat slice of white chocolate cake with raspberry filling (purchased specifically because it was the only flavor they knew i wasn't allergic to) i smiled, said thank you and ate the entire thing, frosting and all. now i am trying to counteract the effects with cheese and almonds. ugh.
Tuesday, March 18th, 2008 11:50 pm (UTC)
Oh joy! It sounds like you're doing the right thing now, but I sympathize: where are our brains when we need them?

"Hello, Poison Control Center? My idiot brain has made me ingest large quantities of sugar."

"Don't worry, ma'am, we get this kind of call all the time. How long ago did you eat it?"

"About two hours... I think..."

"OK, I need you to stay calm. Eat four ounces of a good sharp cheddar and drink at least two glasses of water. If the symptoms worsen to the point you can't dial a phone, induce vomiting and dial 911."

*sigh* Idiot brains.
Wednesday, March 19th, 2008 12:56 am (UTC)
This is why I don't eat sweets in the mornings. This is EXACTLY what happens to me.
Wednesday, March 19th, 2008 02:29 am (UTC)
I feel really stupid for forgetting, actually. I remember you asking whether other people simply didn't feel as awful as you did after eating sweets or fast food, and I raised my hand and said "sweets yes", and then I forgot how bad it was, and I ate this evil thing ANYWAY. I even remembered sugar was a problem and scraped the frosting off, but did I have the common sense to leave it the heck alone entirely? No. One of these days I will have the brains God gave a doorknob. *sigh*
Wednesday, March 19th, 2008 06:21 am (UTC)
I can *not* having sugar the first thing in the morning. Oh, my. I would be so violately sick from the shakes & nauseousness. Then to have a cup of coffee or two on top of it will just kill me.

However, like you, I would've been tempted if a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting was nearby ... Must. Resist. Whatsoever.
Wednesday, March 19th, 2008 04:11 pm (UTC)
Caffeine is particularly bad in my case, because the mild systemic inflammation triggered by caffeine will cause a chronic pain condition to flare up. Healthy people don't notice this level of inflammation when it happens (although there's some evidence it does long-term damage if done habitually) but me, wow!, I get a very quick reminder of why I shouldn't do that. :-)

I gotta remember about sugar. I knew it, and I forgot, or else I deliberately talked myself out of remembering. That was foolish.
Wednesday, March 19th, 2008 05:34 pm (UTC)
I would also highly recommend that you purchase this shirt (http://shirt.woot.com/friends.aspx?k=4113) as a reminder, should this come up in the future.
Wednesday, March 19th, 2008 05:42 pm (UTC)
For the win!
Friday, March 21st, 2008 05:20 am (UTC)
Can we start some kind of warning system that is connected to a database of acts with evil results? I don't have the technical points worked out. But, if I stay up past 11 pm it would start to replay my voice describing how lousy I feel if I don't sleep -- and me swearing I'd not gonna make this sort of needless stupid mistake again. It's like with the cake -- you'd think I haven't done this dozens of times, like I don't know the consequences. Of course, the warning system has to know to warn YOU for cake and ME for staying up late, and be able to detect when danger is near. Sort of, um, an external brain.

However, somehow I do generally remember that coffee is dangerous -- use with great caution.

Is your foot pain caused by inflammation?

Friday, March 21st, 2008 03:53 pm (UTC)
An external brain sure would be useful. Maybe it could give us little electric shocks when we disobey our own directives.

My best guess is that no, my foot pain is not caused by inflammation, because no anti-inflammatory measures (dietary, hot/cold baths, supplements, or drugs) have ever affected it. Too bad. Inflammation may not be perfectly understood, but it sure is something we know how to fight.
Monday, March 24th, 2008 09:12 pm (UTC)
I have that effect on people. :)