Signaling

[cjsmith]

This morning I was thinking we need a way to signal straight.

Let's say I'm wanting to flirt with a chick. Let's say I don't know whether she's straight or not, and she doesn't know whether I am either. And it's way too early in this tentative teeny tiny flirtation here for the soul-searing horror of having to BRING IT UP IN CONVERSATION. That might let her know what I'm thinkin', see, and that's scary.

So I can signal not-straight. I can wear rainbow stuff, or triangles (how outdated!), or a number of other things. Some have the added advantage that few non-queer-friendly folk get the message. It's like a secret code. And with every single one of 'em I can deny that I made a point of sending the message at all. Oh, no, I always wear my Michfest T-shirt on odd-numbered Tuesdays.

If I'm in luck, and she's not only not-straight but might be interested, my hypothetical cute gal can signal back. But she doesn't have any code she can send back, subtly, without loss of face on either side, to say she's straight. She can oh-so-casually mention a current or previous boyfriend, but that's awkward -- it commits the sin of bringing the subject closer to ACTUAL CONVERSATION, which as noted before is verboten this early in the game. Plus it does not successfully signal not-bi.

I suggest pinstripes.

Comments

[tytso.livejournal.com]

This could be framed as an interesting crypto/information hiding problem.

There is a certain amount of information that you don't want to disclose publically to said interesting potential romantic/sexual partner (i.e., whether or not you are interested, whether you are gay/straight, whether you are poly, etc.) and the other potential romantic/sexual partner similarly isn't willing to disclose said informally for all of the world to see. However, if the answers to these questions would indicate that there might be a potential for then --- and only then --- should this both parties be notified about this fact.

It's probably possible to solve this using Realy Clever Mathematics, but it's a lot easier with trusted hardware. So consider what would happen if people could purchase devices (probably integrated into cell phones, eventually), where the device would send out an a message with an ID number to all other participating devices over bluetooth (assume that all protocol exchanges are encrypted so that only trusted devices that do not "cheat" can decrypt them). Each person who participates in this is registered with a central, secure server which associates with your ID number the following information: a low-res picture, whether you are gay/straight/bi, whether you are poly or not, whether you are interested in people who are gay/straight/bi/poly, etc. So when someone sees someone which interests them, they excuse themselves, and their device sends the ID numbers that it has received in the past 10 minutes to the central server, which sends back the low-res pictures. That person then selects the picture for which they are interested, and only if the other person also subsequently indicates an interest do both people simultaneously get notified on their cell phone, via an SMS message, that there is a match.

The operator of the server, of course, can also make a mint collecting material suitable for blackmail, unless the privacy provisions prohibit it, which would be no fun. :-)

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

This could be framed as an interesting crypto/information hiding problem.

Yeah. This and all subparts: my interest in you could be disclosed only if you are also interested in me, my queerness could be disclosed only if you are not Fred Phelps, etc.

It's probably possible to solve this using Realy Clever Mathematics, but it's a lot easier with trusted hardware.

Ain't that the truth! :-)

So when someone sees someone which interests them, they excuse themselves...

I saw a writeup somewhere that went "When I'm interested I get near the other person (near that person's device, more accurately) and push a button. If they've pushed theirs too, my device lights up or buzzes or something." Keeps a lot less data, though, so you still have to figure out the poly thing and somehow determine exactly *which* button-push lit up your life.

and only if the other person also subsequently indicates an interest do both people simultaneously get notified on their cell phone, via an SMS message, that there is a match.

And a generation later, anyone hearing that SMS feep ... __ ... instantly thinks of sex. ;-)

Isn't it amazing the lengths we'll go to to avoid talking to each other?

[oddhack.livejournal.com]

They already have the beginnings (http://www.dailycal.org/particle.php?id=1986) of this idea.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

That's the one I was thinking of! Although I thought it lit up, rather than beeped.

I like the author's idea of personalized settings. I will set mine for ... um... this could get long-winded. :-)