How not to give a cat an injection

1. Do not forget to pick up a sharps container. I do not care if your crock pot is both sterilizable and sturdy.

2. When you pull the cap off the needle, do not twitch and stab your own finger so hard that the needle gets bent.

3. When drawing insulin out of the bottle into the needle, do not flick the syringe with a fingertip like the vet-tech did to get air bubbles out of it. You are not a trained professional. A needle knocked against the inside of the bottle and angled off at thirty or forty degrees to the syringe does not help anyone.

4. Yes, you do have to find the cat. Preferably now.

5. Do not put her favorite treats down in the middle of the floor. I know this may come as a shock to you, but soon she is going to want to leave. Try putting the treats in a corner.

6. This would be a good time to chase off the snitty alpha cat who steals treats.

7. But don't scare the cat you're trying to inject.

8. If you are going to take a long time to mess about with the plunger to see you're not in a vein, make sure the cat has enough treats to keep her occupied. Or else dedicate one of your hands to keeping hold of her. A cat traipsing through the house with a needle hanging off her shoulder is only funny later.

9. Now is a bad time to faint.

10. When disposing of the needle afterwards, do not stab yourself again. Are you sure you're allowed out in public unsupervised?