It's Assertiveness Training Week

At least it is in the CJ-universe, apparently.

I need a polite but firm way to say...

- To my physical therapist: "If I'm going to come in here and do my entire assigned routine for over an hour without anyone to check up on me, I'm also going to not pay you, 'k?"

- To one or two of my square dance friends and my health care providers: "Okay folks, y'all get in the same room together and YOU work out how much dancing I am to do. Come to me when you have agreed on something."

- To my podiatrist (or more precisely, her receptionist) "Follow-up appointments are not optional. I AM IN PAIN HERE."

- To the guy looking for volunteers: "No, I did NOT 'mention that I might be able to' do this. YOU brought it up when I didn't have my schedule with me; YOU are now bugging me about it again. I'm willing to check my schedule and see if it's possible, but when you misrepresent me you can bet your sweet bippy I'm not going to go the extra mile to make it possible."

Plus some work stuff. Plus what I want to say to my feet themselves, which oughtta be censored.

Deep Philosophical Question of the Day

So what exactly is a bippy, and more importantly, why are only the sweet ones suitable for gambling stakes?