Dear So-and-So, It's Not Me, It's You

Dear Universe,

Why do some people have soulmates and others don't? Do I have one? Will I find him or her before I'm dead?

Confusedly,
--CJ

**********************

Dear Lunchroom Bagels,

Why can't more of you be sesame? The last sesame bagel is always gone by 8am. No one touches the raisin or onion ones, or whatEVER the red and green ones are, until long after lunch. I want more sesame bagels!

Demandingly,
--A Hungry Muncher

**********************

Dear Face,

I am SICK of your ZITS. You're thirty-three. Get a grip.

Annoyedly,
--CJ

**********************

Dear Jay,

Here's a quarter, buy a clue: The reason I don't return your calls is that you are a high-pressure salesman. I find it extremely unpleasant to talk to you.

In the spirit of education,
--CJ

**********************

Dear Employer,

You can't keep treating all your non-engineer staff like crap and keep anyone who's good. Even your engineers are leaving because we can't stand having the rest of the organization the way it is.

--Your Employee, For Now

**********************

Dear Face,

I mean it. NOW.

--CJ

**********************

Dear Jamba Juice,

I tried, but those new lemon poppyseed bread things are really not all that great.

Loyally,
--Your Customer

**********************

Dear Joe,

Welcome to LJ! It's great to see you here!

--Tiger Kitten

**********************

Dear Self,

This style is fun. Do it again sometime.

--Me

Hee! I have a picture!

I have a cute little picture now, like everybody else! (Actually two.) Many thanks to Joe for shrinking them for me.