Stress

[cjsmith]

I've been a bit stressed lately. My shoulders and neck are knotted, I'm sleeping fitfully, and I wake up much earlier than intended, so worried about some minor thing that I can't get back to sleep.

I'm not even sure what, precisely, I'm stressed about. Whatever bothers me in the wee hours of the morning is usually something small ("I didn't answer Nancy's mail! Oh No!") and easily fixed. The next morning it will be something else entirely ("I didn't water the potted plant! It's probably wilting!"). So I figure there's something unaddressed, something big, generating stress that leaks through in the guise of worry over these small things.

The little things have the theme of procrastination. They tend to be of the form "I didn't [something]". Perhaps my big unaddressed stress is overload, partly born of procrastination. Or perhaps it's unrelated: these are things I know how to do, while what I'm really worried about and haven't faced is "how am I ever gonna handle [something]".

Wish I could just go look it up. Google search "CJ's stress" and find out immediately. Oh well. Until I do find out, though, it'd be nice if I could get a bit more sleep!

Comments

Google Says...

[cwilson.livejournal.com]

I tried "CJ's stress" in Google, and it thinks you must be worried about

1.) CJ's Story
2.) Bicycle Commuting, or
3.) Drowning Pool.

Any of those ring a bell? Are you subconsciously trying to supress memories of a horrible
bicycle commute?

How disappointing that Google doesn't have better answers...

Re: Google Says...

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Perhaps in a past life I was bicycling to work, trying to get a plotline together in my head, when I rode right into a pool and drowned.

Google can answer a whole lot of questions, but I think it's off base on this one, alas.

Re: Google Says...

[cwilson.livejournal.com]

Perhaps in a past life I was bicycling to work, trying to get a plotline together in my head, when I rode right into a pool and drowned.

That must be it!

I asked Google what's stressing me, and it says it's some event relating to aromatherapy
and critters pet sitting.

Maybe I'll have to ask the Magic 8-Ball for clarification.

Re: Google Says...

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

This magic 8 ball doesn't appear to be working very well right now.

I *so* resonate with this....

[dawnd.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear of it. At least I *know* what's been stressing me lately!

Re: I *so* resonate with this....

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Quitting the job? Yes, that's a scary thing, especially when benefits are tied to the workplace! What are your plans for the future, by the way? No job for a while? Job, but something very different?

Re: I *so* resonate with this....

[dawnd.livejournal.com]

Yeah, quitting the job was stressful. I'm now actually no longer working, but you'd be hard-pressed to really tell the difference. Except I *cooked* this evening--that was one of the things I was hoping to get out of quitting: time to cook, especially to learn to cook lo-carb (which this wasn't, but hey, I gotta start somewhere!). And I've gotten about 4 times as much exercise in the past 2 weeks as in the previous 2 months--yay!

Plans for the future: no job for a while. The unknown aspect is part of what's stressing me out. I'm a strong J; I like to know what's coming! Allegra starts Kindergarten next week, and they STILL haven't told us what session she'll be in. I'll end up with a LOT more Allegra time starting next week, and I'm not sure it's a good thing. I may need to find somewhere for her to be for part of the week, so I can get more of a break. We'll see--she's gotten a LOT easier recently, and a lot more self-managing much of the time. So it might be just fine. But it's another unknown.

There's a lot of stuff to catch up on around here--probably take me 6 months or more to get through it all. If I go stir crazy, I might need to find a really part-time job closer to home (and childcare)--sometime AFTER they tell me what session she's in....

The biggest stressor recently though (the one that's had me waking up way too early) has been my breakup with redhawke. We had been dating since early April, things had heated up in late June, and were looking like potential permanent triad material. But he fell in love with someone else, and the whole thing fell apart in a most unseemly and painful way. "What?" you say, "You're poly, why is this a problem?" Well, it wouldn't have been, except that the person he fell in love with was Victoria, my stepdaughter. I've been deep in the grief process since he finally admitted on 8/17 that he'd broken his various promises to me regarding his relationship with her (no, he didn't break any laws, so you don't need to call your "Cousin" Vito!). Getting better (I'm much more annoyed with him at this point), but it's slow going.

Other stuff mixed in there as well--trip to Disneyland, visit from my sister, throwing a couple of big parties, and a whole lot of processing with Redhawke. So that's been my summer, and I'm still reeling.

I'm sure hoping that your stress is able to be sorted out with much less drama!