I ask you

[cjsmith]

I hate asking people for things beyond the basic “hey could you hand me that” kind of thing. I knew this. I’m reminded it’s still true. I’m almost pathologically … no. I am absolutely, pathologically resistant to asking anyone to change a behavior in order to make my life easier or happier.

It has come to my attention that this can actually damage relationships.

Sigh.

Comments

[cjsmith]

omg yes. Just below your reply is labelleizzy's, which prompted me to reflect on how much trust is required in order to be able to ask. My unwillingness to ask things is not a "me problem" but an "us problem". (Plus, of course, trauma response. Naturally.)

[batrachian]

Trauma response everywhere, especially with the things I've ended up in currently. When the answer has been no in the past, and boundaries are a GOOD THING but in the end I'm still bleeding (metaphorically).

(Not comfortable sharing details here; ping me on PM if you want to hear more.)

[cjsmith]

Owwwwwww. That sounds bad. My heart hurts for you. :( :(

PM 100% welcome. *gentle hugs offered*