I do have, intellectually if not in my gut where it counts, evidence that the other person gives a shit. (The fact I don't "trust it in my gut" is probably a trauma response. Technically that's a me problem, but since it won't go away quickly, it becomes an us problem, a thing we both work with and respond to.) At least I've got this knowledge in my logic-brain. This is superb.
In addition, I'm pretty sure I can and will at least keep trying with working at something until we find an alternate solution. I have a relationship that has lasted three decades and change; we've done a lot of creative solution finding in that time, so I know I'm capable of that. This is a good thing to know about myself and I'm kind of proud of it. Like, even if that relationship were to dissolve tomorrow, I know what I'm like in that kind of long term situation, and I have some traits there that I think are cool and nifty.
So now I need to work on the saying no piece of trust.
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I do have, intellectually if not in my gut where it counts, evidence that the other person gives a shit. (The fact I don't "trust it in my gut" is probably a trauma response. Technically that's a me problem, but since it won't go away quickly, it becomes an us problem, a thing we both work with and respond to.) At least I've got this knowledge in my logic-brain. This is superb.
In addition, I'm pretty sure I can and will at least keep trying with working at something until we find an alternate solution. I have a relationship that has lasted three decades and change; we've done a lot of creative solution finding in that time, so I know I'm capable of that. This is a good thing to know about myself and I'm kind of proud of it. Like, even if that relationship were to dissolve tomorrow, I know what I'm like in that kind of long term situation, and I have some traits there that I think are cool and nifty.
So now I need to work on the saying no piece of trust.
Hmm. This has been very helpful. Thank you. ♥