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Quotes
Inspired by a post of Joe's...
Here are some of the quotes I've collected and saved over the years.
"Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time."
- Steven Wright
--
"The best way to pay for a lovely moment is to enjoy it."
- Richard Bach
--
"I take a simple view on life: Keep your eyes open and get on with it."
- Laurence Olivier
--
"Being a good craftsman will in no way prevent you from having Genius."
- Renoir
--
"Where there is hatred, let me sow love."
- St. Francis of Assisi
--
"A great design attracts applications, and in doing so necessarily
makes its creator look short-sighted and slightly dumb."
-Up the Infinite Corridor
--
"If we had three ears, what shape would Q-tips be?"
- Kate Yule
--
"Compile, run, curse. Recompile, rerun, recurse."
--
"Cats all have the same name -- and it sounds EXACTLY like using a can opener."
--
"FLASH! Intelligence of mankind decreasing. Details at ... uh, when the
little hand is on the .... "
--
"The thing is not to die for your country. The thing
is to make some other poor bastard die for *his* country."
-Patton
--
Conventional wisdom applies only when one follows conventional paths.
--
"Yeah, I've got ADD, you wanna make something of.... oooh, cool. Look!"
--
Different all twisty a of in maze are you, passages little.
--
All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
--
Democracy: Everybody gets what the majority deserves.
--
Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for
they are subtle and will pee on your keyboard.
--
Only after the last tree is cut, the last river is polluted and
the last fish is caught, will man realize that money cannot be
eaten.
- Australian Aboriginal Shaman
--
Just because you're a male doesn't mean you have to act like one.
--
TV is for people who are looking for a painless way to end their lives.
- Benedict O'Mahoney
--
Bureaucracy: a process whereby energy is turned into solid waste.
--
Sometimes it's more important to be human than to have good taste.
- Brecht
POLITICS: Poli = Poly = Many, Tics = Blood Suckers.
--
To do is to be. - Socrates
To be is to do. - Plato
Do be do be do. - Sinatra
--
"Adultery is the application of democracy to love." - HL Mencken
--
Fallen Woman: An ecstatic woman who tumbles out of bed during orgasm.
Fiveplay: More foreplay.
--
Patience, n. - A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.
-Ambrose Bierce
--
He who knows not and knows not that he knows not, He is a fool -- shun him;
He who knows not and knows he knows not, He is simple -- teach him;
He who knows and knows not he knows, He is asleep -- wake him;
He who knows and knows he knows, He is wise -- follow him.
--Arabian Proverb
--
It is only when we no longer compulsively need someone that we can have
a real relationship with them.
--Anthony Storr
--
Frisbeetarian: n. A person who believes that when he dies, his soul
goes up on the roof and gets stuck there
--
Girls start out clever and learn to be innocent;
boys start out innocent and have to learn to be clever.
--
reality.sys corrupted. universe halted. reboot (y/n)?
--
Stephen Stills on social change and cultural changers:
"if you can't do it with a smile on your face and with love in your
heart, then children there ain't no point in doing it at all."
--
You must be careful who you pretend to be
because in the end
you are who you pretend to be.
-- stolen from Sharon Fisher's sig
--
Three out of five people aren't the other two.
--
God grant me the SERENITY to prioritize the things I cannot delegate,
the COURAGE to say no when I need to, and the WISDOM to know when to
go home!
--
Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die.
--
"Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn
to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams."
--Mary Ellen Kelly
--
O ye of little faith, meet those of none - they're often more responsible.
-- Unknown. Help with attribution and wording is requested.
--
All women can cry without tears & most can heal with their hands,
it depends on the wound. She is a woman & that is riddle enough.
-from Beagle's "The Last Unicorn"
--
"Bother," said Pooh, as the blackness engulfed him - for he knew he would
kill again. - From "The Jekyll of Pooh" by R.L. Stevenson (via Tanith)
--
"Bother," said Pooh, as Ozzy Osbourne bit his head off.
- From the Black Sabbath "Hundred Acre Tour" (via Tanith)
--
"Bother," said Pooh, as the alien larva erupted from his chest, scattering
stuffing all over the galley of the Nostromo. - From Aliens XXIV,
"Ripley Comes To Pooh Corner", starring Sigourney Weaver (via Tanith)
--
"E. coli eats shit"
-- Anon. graffito in men's room at FDA
--
"If the Aborigine drafted an IQ test, all of Western civilization would
presumably flunk it." - Stanley Garn
--
That which does not kill me makes me stronger. That which does kill
me makes me Undead.
--
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, does not go away.
-- Philip K. Dick
--
`There are few people in this country who are as out as I am. I have
a husband, and I have a woman companion. There is an obsession with
trying to define women by their sexuality. People don't know how to
deal with you if they can't define your sexuality. I'm just perverse
enough to like that.' - Patricia Ireland, president of NOW, 1993
--
"With all due respect to Princess Diana... someone like Mother Teresa,
when she dies ... will we have anywhere near that kind of outpouring
for her?" - Michael Douglas, in an interview on NBC's Today Show,
hours before Mother Teresa died of a heart attack.
--
"Sugar and spice and everything fun and intelligent and passionate and
athletic and creative and strong and tender and firm and soft and wild
and wonderful ... That's what little girls are made of!"
~ Renee Locks
--
It is no measure of health to be well
adjusted to a profoundly sick society.
--Krishnamurti
--
If you get hung up on what you did wrong, you're never gonna get anywhere.
-- Kenneth Copeland
--
It is never too late to be what you might have been.
-- George Eliot
--
Take my advice -- I'm not using it
--
The best vitamin for making friends: B1.
--
Integrity grows as you connect your head with your heart, your heart
with your behavior.
-- Blaine Lee
--
Follow your dream! Unless it's the one where you're at work in your
underwear during a fire drill.
--
If you die before me, ask if you can bring a friend.
-- Stone Temple Pilots
--
Men who treat women as helpless and charming playthings deserve women
who treat men as delightful and generous bank accounts.
-- GQ
--
A kitten is the rosebud in the garden of the animal kingdom.
-- Robert Southey
--
An anteater can flick out its tongue 160 times a minute. Top that.
-- Grab Bag, S.F. Chronicle, 10-19-98
--
... you can safely assume you've created God in your own image
when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.
-- Anne Lamott
--
A friend
is one to whom one may pour
out all the contents of one's heart,
chaff and grain together
knowing that the gentlest of hands
will take and sift it,
keep what is worth keeping
and with a breath of kindness
blow the rest away.
-- Arabian Proverb
--
"Does your wife know you're in an open relationship?"
-- A poly person named Jo
--
....i regret to say that we of the F.B.I. are powerless to act in cases
of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed
interstate commerce............
-- j. edgar hoover
--
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold
in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently.
-- Nietzsche
--
Women will not have sex unless there is a reason to say "Yes".
Men will have sex unless there is a reason to say "No".
--
Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.
--
Power is to happiness as peanut butter is to a sandwich. It works, but
there are finer alternatives.
-- Jay J.P. Scott, in "The Daily Whale"
--
Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today.
That way, at least you'll get one thing done.
--
"I don't buy temporary insanity as a murder defense,
'cause people kill people. That's an animal instinct.
I think breaking into someone's home and ironing all
their clothes is temporary insanity."
Sue Kolinsky
--
The government is no friend of mine. I give it a hefty portion of
everything I earn, and in return, it loses my mail.
-- read in a David Chilton book, paraphrased
--
Man is the pie that bakes and eats himself, and the recipe is separation.
--
"I myself have never been able to find out what precisely feminism is:
I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express
sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat."
-- Rebecca West, 1913
--
Life in Silicon Valley: You know you're spending too much time at work
when you run out of clean socks.
--
The day Microsoft makes something that doesn't suck is probably
the day they start making vacuum cleaners.
--
No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
--
Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
--
I have found at my age going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of
my face.
--
For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
--
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
--
"Any guy that will wake you up for sex at 4am is ok in my book."
-- stolen from Godmoma's sig
--
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole
relationships."
-- Jimmy Shubert
--
Letitia: How tall are you without your horse?
Coyote Bill: Well, ma'am, I'm six feet seven inches.
Letitia: Never mind the six feet, let's talk about the seven inches.
-- Mae West and Andy Devine,
Myra Breckinridge
--
Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now.
They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and
listening to you talk about how cool you are.
-- Unknown, apocryphally attr. Bill Gates
--
What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say.
-- Emerson
--
Do not confuse the assignment of blame with the solution to the problem. In
space, it is far more vital to fix your air leak than to find the man with
the pin.
-- Fiona L. Zimmer
--
It's also darned useful to find the man with the pin.
-- Me
--
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1. You believe in Santa Claus.
2. You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3. You are Santa Claus.
4. You look like Santa Claus.
-- Seen on the net
--
"I wasn't born a bitch. Men like you made me this way."
Anonymous
--
"A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well
known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being reconized."
-- Fred Allen
--
Mary Had A Little Lamb,
She also had a duck.
She put them on the mantelpiece
to see if they would talk to each other.
-- seen on the net
--
I am Dyslexia of Borg. Prepare to have your ass laminated.
--
I am Popeye of Borg. Prepare to be askimilgrated.
--
I am Homer of Borg. Prepare to ... oooh, donuts!
--
"Oh, bother," said the Borg, "we've assimilated Pooh."
--
The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads
nothing but newspapers.
-- Thomas Jefferson
--
I'm afraid that the Puritan work ethic with respect to relationships
has been completely burned out of me by past relationships. I think
that if it requires "a lot of work", there is probably something going
wrong. My past experience is that if I invest a lot of emotion and
effort into fixing a bad relationship, it remains a bad relationship,
only now it's a bad relationship that's making me too tired to take
care of the rest of my life.
-- Kiri
--
It was only after years of ACoA meetings that I was able to realize
that I wasn't jealous, I just had a major fear of abandonment.
-- I forget who
--
There is more to life than increasing its speed
-- Gandhi
--
Missionary evangelism is the height of cultural arrogance.
-- Frank Zappa
--
My lack of religon leaves me feeling minty fresh.
--
Women are not supposed to snore, burp, sweat or pass gas.
Therefore, we must bitch or we will blow up.
--
Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a
headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle:
"Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children."
--
Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.
Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote.
-- Benjamin Franklin, 1759
--
Theory is when you know something, but it doesn't work.
Practice is when something works, but you don't know why.
Programmers combine theory and practice: nothing works and they don't
know why.
--
He that will only give, and not receive, enslaves the person
whom he would relieve.
-- Sir Samuel Tuke
--
Those who are meant to hear will understand.
Those who are not meant to understand will not hear.
-- Confucius
--
Middle age: when you're sitting at home on Saturday night and the
telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.
-- Ogden Nash
--
Cocaine is God's way of telling you you've got too much money.
-- Sting
--
When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
--
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
--
Do not meddle in the affairs of Wizards,
for you are crunchy, and taste good with ketchup.
--
What a strange illusion it is to suppose that beauty is goodness.
-- Leo Tolstoy
--
Somebody asked me, "How much money does it cost to fly your own
plane?" and I said, "All of it, son, all of it!" And I was buying
memories then that I still live on today.
-- Gordon Baxter, long time columnist for Flying Magazine
--
The Web brings people together because no matter what kind of a
twisted sexual mutant you happen to be, you've got millions of pals
out there. Type in 'Find people that have sex with goats that are on
fire' and the computer will say, 'Specify type of goat.'
-- Rich Jeni
--
About good tech writers:
"They're harder to find, but we pay them less."
-- Anonymous
--
A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon
the support of Paul.
-- George Bernard Shaw
--
Being a woman is a terribly difficult trade, since it consists
principally of dealing with men.
-- Joseph Conrad
--
Don't assume I like you just because your dick is in my mouth.
-- Mo Williams
--
One broken leg is better than two, but still it is not a source of
joy.
-- Thomas Paine
--
They never learned anything, they never forgot anything, and they
fervently believed that whatever they desired was innately correct and
virtuous.
-- Neil Sheehan, "A Bright Shining Lie"
(describing the Dien family in Vietnam c1962,
but the attitude crops up in many places,
doesn't it?)
--
As long as we persist in the mindset that our enemies are somehow
mentally and morally inferior to us we will consistently underestimate
their motives, their dedication and their abilities. And we will pay
the price for that kind of institutional arrogance in blood.
-- TSgt Robert E Lee, USAF Retired
(no, not the general -- TSJAFO in LJ)
--
No matter how cynical you become, it's never enough to keep up.
-- Lily Tomlin
--
And whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?
-- unknown
--
Here are some of the quotes I've collected and saved over the years.
"Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time."
- Steven Wright
--
"The best way to pay for a lovely moment is to enjoy it."
- Richard Bach
--
"I take a simple view on life: Keep your eyes open and get on with it."
- Laurence Olivier
--
"Being a good craftsman will in no way prevent you from having Genius."
- Renoir
--
"Where there is hatred, let me sow love."
- St. Francis of Assisi
--
"A great design attracts applications, and in doing so necessarily
makes its creator look short-sighted and slightly dumb."
-Up the Infinite Corridor
--
"If we had three ears, what shape would Q-tips be?"
- Kate Yule
--
"Compile, run, curse. Recompile, rerun, recurse."
--
"Cats all have the same name -- and it sounds EXACTLY like using a can opener."
--
"FLASH! Intelligence of mankind decreasing. Details at ... uh, when the
little hand is on the .... "
--
"The thing is not to die for your country. The thing
is to make some other poor bastard die for *his* country."
-Patton
--
Conventional wisdom applies only when one follows conventional paths.
--
"Yeah, I've got ADD, you wanna make something of.... oooh, cool. Look!"
--
Different all twisty a of in maze are you, passages little.
--
All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
--
Democracy: Everybody gets what the majority deserves.
--
Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for
they are subtle and will pee on your keyboard.
--
Only after the last tree is cut, the last river is polluted and
the last fish is caught, will man realize that money cannot be
eaten.
- Australian Aboriginal Shaman
--
Just because you're a male doesn't mean you have to act like one.
--
TV is for people who are looking for a painless way to end their lives.
- Benedict O'Mahoney
--
Bureaucracy: a process whereby energy is turned into solid waste.
--
Sometimes it's more important to be human than to have good taste.
- Brecht
POLITICS: Poli = Poly = Many, Tics = Blood Suckers.
--
To do is to be. - Socrates
To be is to do. - Plato
Do be do be do. - Sinatra
--
"Adultery is the application of democracy to love." - HL Mencken
--
Fallen Woman: An ecstatic woman who tumbles out of bed during orgasm.
Fiveplay: More foreplay.
--
Patience, n. - A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.
-Ambrose Bierce
--
He who knows not and knows not that he knows not, He is a fool -- shun him;
He who knows not and knows he knows not, He is simple -- teach him;
He who knows and knows not he knows, He is asleep -- wake him;
He who knows and knows he knows, He is wise -- follow him.
--Arabian Proverb
--
It is only when we no longer compulsively need someone that we can have
a real relationship with them.
--Anthony Storr
--
Frisbeetarian: n. A person who believes that when he dies, his soul
goes up on the roof and gets stuck there
--
Girls start out clever and learn to be innocent;
boys start out innocent and have to learn to be clever.
--
reality.sys corrupted. universe halted. reboot (y/n)?
--
Stephen Stills on social change and cultural changers:
"if you can't do it with a smile on your face and with love in your
heart, then children there ain't no point in doing it at all."
--
You must be careful who you pretend to be
because in the end
you are who you pretend to be.
-- stolen from Sharon Fisher's sig
--
Three out of five people aren't the other two.
--
God grant me the SERENITY to prioritize the things I cannot delegate,
the COURAGE to say no when I need to, and the WISDOM to know when to
go home!
--
Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die.
--
"Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn
to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams."
--Mary Ellen Kelly
--
O ye of little faith, meet those of none - they're often more responsible.
-- Unknown. Help with attribution and wording is requested.
--
All women can cry without tears & most can heal with their hands,
it depends on the wound. She is a woman & that is riddle enough.
-from Beagle's "The Last Unicorn"
--
"Bother," said Pooh, as the blackness engulfed him - for he knew he would
kill again. - From "The Jekyll of Pooh" by R.L. Stevenson (via Tanith)
--
"Bother," said Pooh, as Ozzy Osbourne bit his head off.
- From the Black Sabbath "Hundred Acre Tour" (via Tanith)
--
"Bother," said Pooh, as the alien larva erupted from his chest, scattering
stuffing all over the galley of the Nostromo. - From Aliens XXIV,
"Ripley Comes To Pooh Corner", starring Sigourney Weaver (via Tanith)
--
"E. coli eats shit"
-- Anon. graffito in men's room at FDA
--
"If the Aborigine drafted an IQ test, all of Western civilization would
presumably flunk it." - Stanley Garn
--
That which does not kill me makes me stronger. That which does kill
me makes me Undead.
--
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, does not go away.
-- Philip K. Dick
--
`There are few people in this country who are as out as I am. I have
a husband, and I have a woman companion. There is an obsession with
trying to define women by their sexuality. People don't know how to
deal with you if they can't define your sexuality. I'm just perverse
enough to like that.' - Patricia Ireland, president of NOW, 1993
--
"With all due respect to Princess Diana... someone like Mother Teresa,
when she dies ... will we have anywhere near that kind of outpouring
for her?" - Michael Douglas, in an interview on NBC's Today Show,
hours before Mother Teresa died of a heart attack.
--
"Sugar and spice and everything fun and intelligent and passionate and
athletic and creative and strong and tender and firm and soft and wild
and wonderful ... That's what little girls are made of!"
~ Renee Locks
--
It is no measure of health to be well
adjusted to a profoundly sick society.
--Krishnamurti
--
If you get hung up on what you did wrong, you're never gonna get anywhere.
-- Kenneth Copeland
--
It is never too late to be what you might have been.
-- George Eliot
--
Take my advice -- I'm not using it
--
The best vitamin for making friends: B1.
--
Integrity grows as you connect your head with your heart, your heart
with your behavior.
-- Blaine Lee
--
Follow your dream! Unless it's the one where you're at work in your
underwear during a fire drill.
--
If you die before me, ask if you can bring a friend.
-- Stone Temple Pilots
--
Men who treat women as helpless and charming playthings deserve women
who treat men as delightful and generous bank accounts.
-- GQ
--
A kitten is the rosebud in the garden of the animal kingdom.
-- Robert Southey
--
An anteater can flick out its tongue 160 times a minute. Top that.
-- Grab Bag, S.F. Chronicle, 10-19-98
--
... you can safely assume you've created God in your own image
when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.
-- Anne Lamott
--
A friend
is one to whom one may pour
out all the contents of one's heart,
chaff and grain together
knowing that the gentlest of hands
will take and sift it,
keep what is worth keeping
and with a breath of kindness
blow the rest away.
-- Arabian Proverb
--
"Does your wife know you're in an open relationship?"
-- A poly person named Jo
--
....i regret to say that we of the F.B.I. are powerless to act in cases
of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed
interstate commerce............
-- j. edgar hoover
--
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold
in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently.
-- Nietzsche
--
Women will not have sex unless there is a reason to say "Yes".
Men will have sex unless there is a reason to say "No".
--
Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.
--
Power is to happiness as peanut butter is to a sandwich. It works, but
there are finer alternatives.
-- Jay J.P. Scott, in "The Daily Whale"
--
Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today.
That way, at least you'll get one thing done.
--
"I don't buy temporary insanity as a murder defense,
'cause people kill people. That's an animal instinct.
I think breaking into someone's home and ironing all
their clothes is temporary insanity."
Sue Kolinsky
--
The government is no friend of mine. I give it a hefty portion of
everything I earn, and in return, it loses my mail.
-- read in a David Chilton book, paraphrased
--
Man is the pie that bakes and eats himself, and the recipe is separation.
--
"I myself have never been able to find out what precisely feminism is:
I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express
sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat."
-- Rebecca West, 1913
--
Life in Silicon Valley: You know you're spending too much time at work
when you run out of clean socks.
--
The day Microsoft makes something that doesn't suck is probably
the day they start making vacuum cleaners.
--
No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
--
Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
--
I have found at my age going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of
my face.
--
For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
--
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
--
"Any guy that will wake you up for sex at 4am is ok in my book."
-- stolen from Godmoma's sig
--
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole
relationships."
-- Jimmy Shubert
--
Letitia: How tall are you without your horse?
Coyote Bill: Well, ma'am, I'm six feet seven inches.
Letitia: Never mind the six feet, let's talk about the seven inches.
-- Mae West and Andy Devine,
Myra Breckinridge
--
Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now.
They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and
listening to you talk about how cool you are.
-- Unknown, apocryphally attr. Bill Gates
--
What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say.
-- Emerson
--
Do not confuse the assignment of blame with the solution to the problem. In
space, it is far more vital to fix your air leak than to find the man with
the pin.
-- Fiona L. Zimmer
--
It's also darned useful to find the man with the pin.
-- Me
--
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1. You believe in Santa Claus.
2. You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3. You are Santa Claus.
4. You look like Santa Claus.
-- Seen on the net
--
"I wasn't born a bitch. Men like you made me this way."
Anonymous
--
"A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well
known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being reconized."
-- Fred Allen
--
Mary Had A Little Lamb,
She also had a duck.
She put them on the mantelpiece
to see if they would talk to each other.
-- seen on the net
--
I am Dyslexia of Borg. Prepare to have your ass laminated.
--
I am Popeye of Borg. Prepare to be askimilgrated.
--
I am Homer of Borg. Prepare to ... oooh, donuts!
--
"Oh, bother," said the Borg, "we've assimilated Pooh."
--
The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads
nothing but newspapers.
-- Thomas Jefferson
--
I'm afraid that the Puritan work ethic with respect to relationships
has been completely burned out of me by past relationships. I think
that if it requires "a lot of work", there is probably something going
wrong. My past experience is that if I invest a lot of emotion and
effort into fixing a bad relationship, it remains a bad relationship,
only now it's a bad relationship that's making me too tired to take
care of the rest of my life.
-- Kiri
--
It was only after years of ACoA meetings that I was able to realize
that I wasn't jealous, I just had a major fear of abandonment.
-- I forget who
--
There is more to life than increasing its speed
-- Gandhi
--
Missionary evangelism is the height of cultural arrogance.
-- Frank Zappa
--
My lack of religon leaves me feeling minty fresh.
--
Women are not supposed to snore, burp, sweat or pass gas.
Therefore, we must bitch or we will blow up.
--
Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a
headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle:
"Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children."
--
Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.
Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote.
-- Benjamin Franklin, 1759
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Theory is when you know something, but it doesn't work.
Practice is when something works, but you don't know why.
Programmers combine theory and practice: nothing works and they don't
know why.
--
He that will only give, and not receive, enslaves the person
whom he would relieve.
-- Sir Samuel Tuke
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Those who are meant to hear will understand.
Those who are not meant to understand will not hear.
-- Confucius
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Middle age: when you're sitting at home on Saturday night and the
telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.
-- Ogden Nash
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Cocaine is God's way of telling you you've got too much money.
-- Sting
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When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
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A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
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Do not meddle in the affairs of Wizards,
for you are crunchy, and taste good with ketchup.
--
What a strange illusion it is to suppose that beauty is goodness.
-- Leo Tolstoy
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Somebody asked me, "How much money does it cost to fly your own
plane?" and I said, "All of it, son, all of it!" And I was buying
memories then that I still live on today.
-- Gordon Baxter, long time columnist for Flying Magazine
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The Web brings people together because no matter what kind of a
twisted sexual mutant you happen to be, you've got millions of pals
out there. Type in 'Find people that have sex with goats that are on
fire' and the computer will say, 'Specify type of goat.'
-- Rich Jeni
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About good tech writers:
"They're harder to find, but we pay them less."
-- Anonymous
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A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon
the support of Paul.
-- George Bernard Shaw
--
Being a woman is a terribly difficult trade, since it consists
principally of dealing with men.
-- Joseph Conrad
--
Don't assume I like you just because your dick is in my mouth.
-- Mo Williams
--
One broken leg is better than two, but still it is not a source of
joy.
-- Thomas Paine
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They never learned anything, they never forgot anything, and they
fervently believed that whatever they desired was innately correct and
virtuous.
-- Neil Sheehan, "A Bright Shining Lie"
(describing the Dien family in Vietnam c1962,
but the attitude crops up in many places,
doesn't it?)
--
As long as we persist in the mindset that our enemies are somehow
mentally and morally inferior to us we will consistently underestimate
their motives, their dedication and their abilities. And we will pay
the price for that kind of institutional arrogance in blood.
-- TSgt Robert E Lee, USAF Retired
(no, not the general -- TSJAFO in LJ)
--
No matter how cynical you become, it's never enough to keep up.
-- Lily Tomlin
--
And whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?
-- unknown
--