I think I share the traits you listed for what draws you to befriend, in both circumstances. Some of them are probably pretty global, actually.

While I wish I wasn't so invisible at times, I do value some invisibility time, and I don't necessarily want a larger group of friends, just ones that aren't so transient, which it seems my local friends continue to be. I can wish all day that my closer online friends were physically closer, so I just need to accept that to maintain those is going to take occassional visits, hopefully from both directions.

Where the heck was I going with this? :-)