![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Thank you
Thanks to everyone who offered comments, support, and ideas in response to my "Deadline" post. I appreciate not only the support but the connection, the knowledge that someone out there hears and understands where I'm at with this. Quite a few someones, even. It means a lot to me.
Our culture is very big on the fighters, the people who never ever give up. We don't honor the people who work within their limitations, or who take a break from fighting for a while, even if it's obviously the smart or sane thing to do. There's a subtle disbelief people show when faced with someone who really has tried an enormous number of things none of which has worked. (Sometimes I think Americans believe an amputee should be able to grow a new leg by force of will. Failure to do so is some sort of personality flaw. I have my theories about how all this is a big case of denial, but this post is long enough.) I've bought into this attitude more than is healthy.
Not that I'm giving up exactly. I'll still go to physical therapy and to my doctor. I'll do my exercises and my stretches and I'll apply castor oil to my feet (that's the latest, and it's too early to say whether it's helping, so I won't ditch it now).
I'm definitely going to apply for the disabled parking hang-tag. A group of people in the waiting room at physical therapy this morning said the same: "I did that; it helped!" "Oh, DO it, it's what you need right now that counts." One woman offered to get me some information on a chair for cooking -- a lab chair, so it rolls *and* can go up and down (high enough to stir pasta, low enough for getting pans out of the cupboard). I told her I don't cook much, but to be honest, I admit I did bake more a while back. It was thoughtful of her to ask about cooking and offer to get the name of her "godsend" chair. She can walk, some, but she also uses a scooter, and she's had pain in the soles of her feet for ten years. I think I'm glad I'm not waiting for ten years to get the placard.
And enormous thanks to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
dizzdvl for offering to send me a swim cap and goggles. I haven't decided between the nearby high school's pool and the Y, but I'll do one or the other. There, you have my word on it: I will swim. Now that I've made a public declaration I'll do it.
Our culture is very big on the fighters, the people who never ever give up. We don't honor the people who work within their limitations, or who take a break from fighting for a while, even if it's obviously the smart or sane thing to do. There's a subtle disbelief people show when faced with someone who really has tried an enormous number of things none of which has worked. (Sometimes I think Americans believe an amputee should be able to grow a new leg by force of will. Failure to do so is some sort of personality flaw. I have my theories about how all this is a big case of denial, but this post is long enough.) I've bought into this attitude more than is healthy.
Not that I'm giving up exactly. I'll still go to physical therapy and to my doctor. I'll do my exercises and my stretches and I'll apply castor oil to my feet (that's the latest, and it's too early to say whether it's helping, so I won't ditch it now).
I'm definitely going to apply for the disabled parking hang-tag. A group of people in the waiting room at physical therapy this morning said the same: "I did that; it helped!" "Oh, DO it, it's what you need right now that counts." One woman offered to get me some information on a chair for cooking -- a lab chair, so it rolls *and* can go up and down (high enough to stir pasta, low enough for getting pans out of the cupboard). I told her I don't cook much, but to be honest, I admit I did bake more a while back. It was thoughtful of her to ask about cooking and offer to get the name of her "godsend" chair. She can walk, some, but she also uses a scooter, and she's had pain in the soles of her feet for ten years. I think I'm glad I'm not waiting for ten years to get the placard.
And enormous thanks to
dizzdvl for offering to send me a swim cap and goggles. I haven't decided between the nearby high school's pool and the Y, but I'll do one or the other. There, you have my word on it: I will swim. Now that I've made a public declaration I'll do it.
no subject
That's the situation my mom and siblings were in when my dad reached the just cut it off stage. I don't know if they realized how much he was already going/had already gone through.
The way I look at it is, whatever you feel you need to do to keep up a certain measure of quality life, go for it. Yes, it sucks you might not do certain things again. It's made me think a little, given how visually oriented I am, about what the heck I would do if I was suddenly struck blind. I don't know now what I would do, and I know I would go through some bad phases, but I don't think it would be the end of the world.
I'll quit rambling now... :-)
no subject
I fear blindness. BIG fear. It's my control-freakishness: I want to be completely independent, and there would be some big hurdles there.
Ramble any time. :)