Thank you

[cjsmith]

Thanks to everyone who offered comments, support, and ideas in response to my "Deadline" post. I appreciate not only the support but the connection, the knowledge that someone out there hears and understands where I'm at with this. Quite a few someones, even. It means a lot to me.

Our culture is very big on the fighters, the people who never ever give up. We don't honor the people who work within their limitations, or who take a break from fighting for a while, even if it's obviously the smart or sane thing to do. There's a subtle disbelief people show when faced with someone who really has tried an enormous number of things none of which has worked. (Sometimes I think Americans believe an amputee should be able to grow a new leg by force of will. Failure to do so is some sort of personality flaw. I have my theories about how all this is a big case of denial, but this post is long enough.) I've bought into this attitude more than is healthy.

Not that I'm giving up exactly. I'll still go to physical therapy and to my doctor. I'll do my exercises and my stretches and I'll apply castor oil to my feet (that's the latest, and it's too early to say whether it's helping, so I won't ditch it now).

I'm definitely going to apply for the disabled parking hang-tag. A group of people in the waiting room at physical therapy this morning said the same: "I did that; it helped!" "Oh, DO it, it's what you need right now that counts." One woman offered to get me some information on a chair for cooking -- a lab chair, so it rolls *and* can go up and down (high enough to stir pasta, low enough for getting pans out of the cupboard). I told her I don't cook much, but to be honest, I admit I did bake more a while back. It was thoughtful of her to ask about cooking and offer to get the name of her "godsend" chair. She can walk, some, but she also uses a scooter, and she's had pain in the soles of her feet for ten years. I think I'm glad I'm not waiting for ten years to get the placard.

And enormous thanks to dizzdvl for offering to send me a swim cap and goggles. I haven't decided between the nearby high school's pool and the Y, but I'll do one or the other. There, you have my word on it: I will swim. Now that I've made a public declaration I'll do it.

Comments

[therobbergirl.livejournal.com]

You are totally inspirational. I just have garden variety plantar fasciitis and was feeling mopey at my upcoming honeymoon trip to the Natural History museum at the Smithsonian. But wow, you're pretty amazing and I figure that if you can find ways around your foot problem and even consider your limits and figure out how to work with them, then I can put up with some pain to see some dinosaur bones and some rocks. I am grateful that I can stuff my shoes with all kinds of supports and cushions, massage them with a tennis ball, and heat/ice them into compliance.

I wish that your feet could be treated as easily. But I'm glad that you are able to see around corners and find solutions.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Inspirational? For wimping out? 1/2 :-) (I do feel like that's what I'm doing, in some ways. *sigh*. bad mental tape.)

I just have garden variety plantar fasciitis

Plantar fasciitis sounds truly annoying to me -- I'm not sure I'd be griping any less if that's what I had. I fear it. How long have you had that pain? (Rob had it for a bit over a year, if I recall correctly. One gal I saw this morning has had it for ten.)

then I can put up with some pain to see some dinosaur bones and some rocks.

Or you could see if the Smithsonian has scooters. They might! Then you would get to see dinosaur bones and rocks without pain. :-)

I'm glad there are some things that alleviate the pain. I hope the tennis ball massage doesn't hurt badly while you are doing it! I could imagine that it might. :-(

[therobbergirl.livejournal.com]

Inspirational? For wimping out? 1/2 :-) (I do feel like that's what I'm doing, in some ways. *sigh*. bad mental tape.)

Ya know, I was just thinking that it's not necessarily a bad mental tape. It can provide you with a benefit -- it helps you not to actually wimp out, but to explore other possibilities to the point that you are as satisfied as you reasonably can be that at this time you've done all you can do.

Or you could see if the Smithsonian has scooters.

I hadn't thought of that! I'll ask.

I hope the tennis ball massage doesn't hurt badly while you are doing it! I could imagine that it might.

In my case, it's the exact opposite. It feels very good. Most of the time, I heat my feet (I have it in both and have had it for nearly two years), massage with a tennis ball, then heat again. When I've overtaxed my feet (they're very good about letting me know, heh), I tennis ball them without heat (relieves the pain) and then I ice them (reduces inflammation).

It sucks, but I do get relief and I do get to use the gym. When my feet are in good shape, I use the treadmill (ellipticals exacerbate the problem for me and I don't know why). When they suck, I use stationary bicycles and the pool. I can always do weights -- my feet don't care.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Good point -- I think one of the reasons "bad" mental tapes stick around so long is that they *do* have benefits.

I'm glad the tennis ball feels good! And I could become an ice junkie. It continually surprises me how well ice can (for a minute or two) take the pain away.

[shadopanther.livejournal.com]

My mother has had plantar fasciitis too. Thankfully her feet are behaving themselves while she deals with her back's herniated disc problem as it is resulting in lots of standing.

My mother also had trouble with her plantar fasciitis with the (supposedly low impact) ellipticals. We also do not know why.

Good feet healing wishes for both amywithani & cjsmith. -- Shadopanther

[therobbergirl.livejournal.com]

I have a theory with the ellipticals. I notice that most of them give me trouble, but one does not (nope, I don't know make/manufacturer, sorry). I also notice that I have to concetrate on keeping my feet planted flat on the pedals -- I have a strong tendency to go halfway on my toes. I wonder if I'm taxing the muscle when I do that?

Both the elliptical that doesn't hurt my feet and the others are the kind that run on a metal track. You can program the machine to slope the tracks into some pretty sharp uphills. They are not the machines where you hold onto to hand levers at the same time.