I'm glad you have so many supportive people in your life. I must admit I didn't read the original post until yesterday, so I didn't bother to respond, since it had all already been said. But it sounds like you got some good advice. As long as you don't do things that are irreversible, I suspect living in the now (even such as it is) will be better for your mental health than living in this between place you find yourself. So even though I wish with all my heart I could snap my fingers and make you better, I am very proud of you for taking the steps you are. Just wanted you to know that. :)