Our culture is very big on the fighters, the people who never ever give up. We don't honor the people who work within their limitations, or who take a break from fighting for a while, even if it's obviously the smart or sane thing to do.
I sense from reading your posts that you've internalized at least some of these counterproductive messages as well. I'm just guessing here (I'm no therapist, duh!), but this is what I've interpreted from things you've written. What you might want to do about these internalized messages is quite another question. Something about holding them up to the light where they might not survive would be my guess, but I really don't know.
And of course many other people will still think or act on these negative messages too -- but you're probably used to being a member of groups that are associated with negative stereotypes. A big problem is -- like internalized homophobia -- if these negative stereotypes act in concert with your own internalized stereotypes and fears, these messages from others will hurt a lot more.
It just seems to me that a big part of dealing with your challenging circumstances may be the internal efforts to change the messages you've inherited somehow.
OK, this is sounding like advice, and I really don't mean to leave advice. I just want to put these ideas out there for you, as some possibilities, some thought fodder. Please, please ignore if it's off base.
Internalized messages
I sense from reading your posts that you've internalized at least some of these counterproductive messages as well. I'm just guessing here (I'm no therapist, duh!), but this is what I've interpreted from things you've written. What you might want to do about these internalized messages is quite another question. Something about holding them up to the light where they might not survive would be my guess, but I really don't know.
And of course many other people will still think or act on these negative messages too -- but you're probably used to being a member of groups that are associated with negative stereotypes. A big problem is -- like internalized homophobia -- if these negative stereotypes act in concert with your own internalized stereotypes and fears, these messages from others will hurt a lot more.
It just seems to me that a big part of dealing with your challenging circumstances may be the internal efforts to change the messages you've inherited somehow.
OK, this is sounding like advice, and I really don't mean to leave advice. I just want to put these ideas out there for you, as some possibilities, some thought fodder. Please, please ignore if it's off base.