Building trust is such a key piece. There are a lot of facets to that, too:
I need to trust that the other person gives a shit, which is NOT a given;
I need to trust that the other person is willing to say no when that's what they need to say, which is ABSOLUTELY NOT A GIVEN;
and I need to trust that when they care and I need something and they need to say no, we'll work at it until we find an alternate path or something that is going to do well for both (all?) of us.
So... okay. Not asking may damage the relationship, but now that I've thought about it even a minuscule amount, the lack of trust shows that me being reticent to make a request is not "my problem" in isolation.
(Which is also sort of discouraging, because I'm the only person I can change.)
no subject
- I need to trust that the other person gives a shit, which is NOT a given;
- I need to trust that the other person is willing to say no when that's what they need to say, which is ABSOLUTELY NOT A GIVEN;
- and I need to trust that when they care and I need something and they need to say no, we'll work at it until we find an alternate path or something that is going to do well for both (all?) of us.
So... okay. Not asking may damage the relationship, but now that I've thought about it even a minuscule amount, the lack of trust shows that me being reticent to make a request is not "my problem" in isolation.(Which is also sort of discouraging, because I'm the only person I can change.)